


Without Dreams

by BewareOfShleets



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-05-14 21:14:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 24,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14777357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BewareOfShleets/pseuds/BewareOfShleets
Summary: A swap of lifestyles. Mamoru never lost his parents. Usagi's parents did not want her.





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

As she folded yet another small shirt her blue eyes glared at the brown peeling wallpaper in front her. The flickering celling light made the wallpaper look like a large crooked claw, quietly disappearing into the shadows, waiting a for an opportunity to snag an unsuspecting child that would walked underneath it. 

If only...

Folding another piece of small clothing into the pile Usagi rubbed and blew into her cupped hands. The laundry room was cold. The heater to her left just barely warmed that side of her small body. Though she was wrapped in two jumpers and two long pants, the material of the garments were old and thin, handed down from the previous owner once they out grew them. 

Usagi picked up another piece of clothing, again slowly folding it neatly and placing it beside the others. She repeated this action till a sniffle pulled at her jumper.

"U-chan." She stopped folding a shirt midway, slowly taking a deep breath before looking over to the small boy, streaked with tears and snot. 

"What's wrong Matsu?" 

"Shou took my ranger." and began to wail.

Usagi rolled her eyes and sighed. She only had few more clothes to fold, and as the young boy told his story of how his toy ranger was stolen from him she grabbed a small pile of shirts and passed it to him. "Here Matsu, take this. Wipe your nose first." she watched as he wiped his nose along his faded blue jumper, a line of clear mucus streaked across the length of his arm. Matsu took the pile shirts, holding both ends on each arm and continued with his unfortunate tale. 

He sniffled loudly as Usagi collected the remaining pile, stacking pants, underwear then jumpers on top of each other before standing up. "Come on lets go." 

They slowly walked up the stairs and into the main hall of the building before taking another flight of stairs up.  
Matsu stayed quiet for the duration of the walk towards the boy’s dormitory. They stopped in front of mock-wood shoji screen doors, and with a small kick Usagi balanced on one foot and wedged her toes to slide the screen left. 

Carefully she walked through the small cramped room towards the boys common wardrobe drawers. Placing her pile carefully on top the furniture she took the pile from Matsu and neatly stacked them inside drawers before placing her own pile in. 

"U-chan, my ranger?" Matsu's voice began to break and sniffled loudly. Usagi ignored him and began to pick up torn books and small toys from the floor. "Help me put these away." She ordered. Matsu did as he was told. Albeit messily but so long it was not on the floor. "Come on." Usagi spoke holding her hand out to the little boy. She grasped his small cold hands into her own and slowly walked out of the boy’s room. They crossed the hall into a larger room littered with used toys and a row of chairs that stood by an icy window. 

Matsu released her hold and charged towards a boy playing with a green action figure. As Matsu tried to snatch the toy from the other boy, Shou, Usagi only watched them impassively. The other children in the room stopped and watched the scene unfold again. 

"Papa gave that to me!" Matsu cried, trying to wrench the toy out from Shou's grasp. Shou being slightly older pushed against the younger boy’s head, 

"It's not yours anymore!"

Taking a deep breath Usagi slowly walked towards the fighting boys and when an opportunity arose she snatched the action figure from their hands. 

"Nothing belongs to neither of you." Usagi threw the toy onto the very top shelf, she heard the toy collide with the wall before it fell behind furniture. 

The silence was louder than Matsu wails.

Usagi gazed back to see Matsu stomping his feet as Shou stood there with his head down. He would learn. While some of the children have lived here majority of their lives, and others having been neglected or abused by their immediate family, Matsu on the other hand had lost his family. He had only arrived a month ago. 

She stomped over towards him, Shou backing away quickly but she ignored him, Usagi grasped Matsu shoulders firmly, "This is your life now! No one here is coming for you! No one wants you! Nothing belongs to you!" she screamed. Matsu hazel eyes gaped at her blue. His tear streaked face, with mucus running down his down nose and lips did not make Usagi's frown go. She released her grasp and turned towards the analogue clock. Oo-five forty-five. 

"Tidy up everyone it's time for a bath." She ignored the groans, and they did not argue. "Shou. You'll take Matsu to the baths and wash him."

"Y-yes Usagi-san." 

She left the children to their own devices. They would not disobey an order from someone older. Age here allowed you to maintain a hierarchical status. You did not disobey the older children.

She returned to her own dorm, sliding the plastic screen into a room cramped with five beds. Only two had folded futons on top of the metal beds. At the two small desks sat another girl around Usagi's age, her head down beneath a small lamp light as she scribbled down notes. 

"Takara-chan." Her head and turned towards Usagi.

"Usagi-chan! You scared me. Are you going to work tonight?" Takara asked as Usagi walked over to her personal drawers.

"Yeah. I won't be back till eleven-thirty. Can wait for me by the doors tonight?" Takara nodded her head, "Of course."

Usagi stripped in front of Takara. There was no personal space here. Everyone shared a room, the bathrooms, the toilets. She shivered as she stripped off her warmer layers and quickly shoved her uniform on. "Hey Usagi-chan. Can you get me some Poki?"

"I'm a bit short on cash, if it's on special today I will." she replied. "Do you have an exam tomorrow?"

"Yeah..."

Usagi hummed as she fixed her hair. She wrapped her woven pink scarf before she exited her dorm. "I'll see you later Takara-chan."

"Bye Usagi-chan!"

As Usagi walked down the stairs she felt a light draft along her neck and wrapped her scarf tighter. Before Usagi left the building she knocked at a door to the left. A light knock later she let herself in. Two older women sat a wooden table looking over papers and muttering to each before, the plump women sitting behind the desk lifted her gaze at her.

"Yes Usagi-san?"

"I'm off to my part-time job, I finish at eleven, I should be back by eleven-thirty. Takara-chan says she'll open the door for me. I've sent the younger children for their baths."

Both women smiled softly. "Thank you, Usagi-san. Stay safe." Usagi bowed before leaving and as soon as she closed the doors she heard them, “She won’t make it.”

The cold air stung Usagi's cheeks immediately. Thankfully there was no wind however the sky was void of any clouds promising a cold winter night ahead. Her feet already felt frozen in her old boots, her body shivered despite her winter coat. Icy mist shot out her nose each time she exhaled. Usagi stuffed her cold digits into her coat pockets as soon as she locked the gates. 

She jogged quickly to the bus stop and as she waited, jogging on the spot, she ignored the snickers from a group of girls. When the bus finally arrived Usagi seated herself right the front as the girls brushed past her. 

"Did you see what she was wearing?"

"Looks like my grandmothers wardrobe." 

Usagi ignored their raucous laughter as they walked past her towards the back of the bus. 

Not ten minutes in till one the girls sat right behind her. "You know that coat is like out of fashion now, like fifty years out of fashion." Her friends laughed behind her. 

The girl leaned closer behind Usagi, reaching her head. "So, what's your name? Where do you live." 

Usagi looked over at her indifferently before turning her gaze towards the front of the bus. The next stop was hers. "You know it's rude to ignore people." 

Ignoring her, Usagi pressed the 'stop' button and the bus lurched to sudden stop causing the girl behind her to lose her grip on the seat handle. She landed on her side, hissing in pain as Usagi stood up. 

The bus driver snapped at her "Next time press earlier!"

Usagi bowed towards the driver. "I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

The bus drove away but not before Usagi caught the sight of the girl being thrown back by the force. She smirked and jogged towards a small convenience store.

"Ah Usagi, right on time. Lucky you, you just missed the peak hour!"

Eleven at night could not come sooner. The shift was slow, tedious and she easily caught the last bus back. When she arrived at the wooden doors of her home there was no Takara waiting by the doors. Her teeth chattered loudly and her body prickled from the cold. "Come on Takara-chan." she shivered. She banged the door numerous times till one of the care-takers opened the door instead. "Usagi-chan! Too loud." She pushed in, breathed in relief of being indoors. "Sorry, Chio-san. I'm going to bed. Goodnight." Chio mumbled a goodnight before Usagi dashed off towards her dorm.

Takara was asleep and snug in her bed. Frowning, Usagi shoved her icy cold hands beneath Takara's blanket and straight to her warm skin. She laughed gleefully as Takara shot up from her bed with a loud yelp. "You forgot to let me in!" 

Takara groaned and wrapped her whole body into a blanket ball. "And for that," Usagi murmured on top of her, "no Poki for you." Takara shifted her body, throwing Usagi's off. She pouted, her brown eyes doefully look down at her. "But I have an exam tomorrow."  
Usagi grinned at her "And for that you get only one Poki box, I get to keep the other for myself."  
Both girls laughed as Usagi stripped quickly into her pajama’s and lunged into the warmth of her roommate’s bed. 

As Takara's slow breaths hit the back of Usagi's neck, she counted in her mind the pay she would receive for the month. She worked more hours than she had in recent months but the total sum that Usagi calculated in her mind was not enough to live out on her own. She would need to take another job on the side. School mattered little to Usagi. With no parental help she would get nowhere. Best secure jobs with good rapport help with her oncoming adult life.

Usagi gazed back towards the girl behind her. Next month Takara would turn fifteen and she would receive her first monthly salary, left by her immediate family’s death, and have more than enough leave this place into a home on her own. Takara was like Matsu, was fortunate because she, unlike Usagi, was wanted by her parents.

Unlike Takara, Usagi was a throwaway child.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 

Tired and bleary eyed Usagi tried to focus at the task in front of her. Haruna-sensei had decided today was the perfect day for a surprise quiz just before the winter holidays.  


Haruna-sensei hummed softly to herself as she prowled each row of desks for any would be cheaters. Usagi looked over the paper, squinting her eyes for familiar Japanese script and avoiding every English letter. She rubbed her eyes from sleep as she attempted to hold back a yawn. All her fellow students were writing and scratching vigorously onto the test paper, but did nothing at all to encourage her to start. She had been working late everyday with little time to study or do her homework, and above all sleep.

Unable to hold back a yawn, she wiped a tear that escaped the corner of her eye as Usagi slowly wrote her name on top of the paper. 

Tsukino Usagi

Her parents must have come up with the name as a joke. 

As Usagi finished with the last alphabet of her name she began to trace flowered motifs around her first name and finished with a small long eared creature sleeping among the blooms. She drew a crescent enveloping the small creature within her surname, the darkness encasing the little white rabbit. Delicately tapping with her pen, she drew the Moons craters, shading with soft strokes. Then stars of varied sizes...

"Times up. Pens down."

Usagi lifted her head, dazed but more alert, watched as Haruna-sensei slowly walked the first row of the classroom desks. She pushed back her messy braid back and her loose hair behind her ears nervously. Her fingers trembled in her lap, her gaze concentrating on her name on top of the sheet of paper. The beating of her heart grew stronger and louder as Haruna-sensei stopped by her desk. 

Usagi watched as her teacher’s hand slowly picked up her test paper, then flipped it over and back before placing it slowly down onto her desk again. “Tsukino-san.” She slowly stood up from her chair, the classroom sat in silence that unnerved Usagi, she could feel the other students all watching from the corner of their eyes. A pop of a pen lid then dropped down onto her test, a large X crossed over her test paper, striking through her little rabbit and moon. "Thank you Tsukino-san for making your test easier to mark, I'm sure you would have received a few points for creativity in Art class however I would like to see, for once, if you are capable of writing something other than your name. I'll see you after class."  
Usagi mumbled under her breath in reply. 

"I'm sorry Tsukino-san I did not hear you." her teacher said firmly.

"Yes, Haruna-sensei." Haruna-sensei stood for another seconds before she walked towards the next student behind her. All around Usagi could hear the muffled snickers before their teacher ordered silence as she sat back down.

Lunch break came after maths. Usagi sat alone, taking small bites from her rice balls as she gazed at the falling snow outside the window.

Excited gasps caught her attention, Umino Gurio, the top student of the class was gushing out information on the latest gossip in the gaming world. "...the graphics are supposed to be top, the best! They're saying Sailor V is going to beat their record gross! AHH why can't March come sooner!!"

"Umino-kun, come on, you say that about all games." Osaka Naru, daughter of a prominent jewel dealer.

"No! No Naru-chan you don't understand! Ever since Sailor Mercury hit the news the anticipation for Sailor V has doubled! No quadrupled!! I pre-ordered mine and the game salesman said that Sailor V is nearly reaching Ultimate Fantasy 4’s popularity!!!"

"Surely Sailor Mercury is not real." Yoshu Yuki spoke.

Naru shook her head vigorously "No, I saw her!! She saved me from the monsters! It was amazing!" she ahh'ed. "It must be wonderful to be hero. Helping people, fighting crime."

"There's a rumor," Umino's voice dropped to a whisper where the three girls gasped.

"That sounds ridiculous!" Yuki and Suzuki laughed.

"It does sound far-fetched Umino-kun." Naru said slowly.

"But it makes sense!"

"No, it does not." Those were Naru's final words.

There was a pause for food and drink where Umino again spoke "Hey let's go to the Crown Arcade after school, they have an arcade version of Sailor V!"

She stopped listening, finishing her rice ball and leaving the second till later, Usagi waited till the bells rang. The History teacher came through the doors shortly after lunch bell. The class captain stood, and everyone followed suit, with her strong loud “Rei!” everyone bowed before their teacher before sitting back down.

When the final class finished for the day at three-o'clock Usagi waited patiently for Haruna-sensei to arrive, but she never did. At three-thirty Usagi stood up, pushed her chair in and walked out the classroom. As she slowly changed out of her school slippers into her boots a pair of girls ran towards her with a bucket. The two giggling girls stop beside her and dumped soapy water over her head. "See you tomorrow Throwaway!" They cackled as they ran off towards the stairs. 

Usagi took several deep breaths holding onto her boot, spitting out loose soapy water travelling down her lips. She tipped the boot watching the dirty water rush out onto the floor as she pulled back wet blonde strands behind her left ear. She gritted her teeth in anger, she'll get them. 

A small feminine hand came into her view holding a white handkerchief. Frowning, Usagi slowly lifted her eyes to meet with a girl with short blue hair. "That was very unkind of them." the girl said, gesturing towards the small cloth. Usagi shook her head and shoved her soggy sock into her soggy boot with a loud squelch. "Ah, you'll get sick if you walk home in those!" 

Usagi lifted her gaze and glared at the girl. "The dumb don't get sick." she hissed as she picked up her handle-less briefcase and proceeded towards the door but not before spotting a black cat running past her. "Luna!" she heard the girl behind call out. 

When the winter cold suddenly hit Usagi's face she bolted, running past the school gates and away, opposite from a large park. Usagi caught the peak-hour train, squished between warm winter coat bodies she wished some of that heat would travel down her toes. She wriggled numb toes inside her wet boots, encouraging more blood flow down south. By the time she saw the orphanage building she was walking with numb feet, frozen hair clung to the side of her pink cheeks and her neck was rubbing against her frozen scarf.

Pushing the doors open Usagi promptly closed it and chattered a "I'm home" to no one. Removing the boots promptly and ripping her scarf Usagi walked towards the stairs where, she spotted Shou on the top holding a green action figure. She watched Shou quickly hide the toy behind his back, "Hi Usagi-san." She grunted in reply walking past him towards her dormitory.

She spotted Takara folding the few items she owned into a small suitcase. "Hi Takara-chan." 

Her roommate looked up with a large smile on her face "Hi Usagi-chan!"

"So good news I take it." Usagi said, quickly removing her clothes and throwing them into a corner. While in her underwear Usagi slammed her frozen feet against the heater. She groaned as her feet began to prickle and sting, she rubbed them several times to help for white toes turn a healthy pink.

"Yeah." Takara answered slowly. "My grandmother has agreed to become my benefactor. I'm moving to my unit during the holidays.”

Usagi looked back. "So soon? Are you saying you're leaving next week?"

"Yes."

Usagi's heart seized, her throat constricted, her lip trembled downward. "Lucky you." she whispered looking away.

Takara enveloped her warm body around her, "Don't worry Usagi-chan, you'll make it. We'll still be friends. Hey, you can sleepover, maybe? And maybe once you're fifteen you can move in with me?"  
Usagi felt Takara hug her tighter, the warm fuzz of being held slowly made her whole body tremble. Takara continued to speak but all Usagi could hear was a buzz in he ears as her heart beat rapidly within her chest. Her feet were finally a normal colour, a soft warm body pressed behind her back, she should cherish this and while Usagi placed this feeling in the back of her mind tears began to leak down her face.

And when the day finally came for Takara to leave, Usagi was at work, she agreed to work a longer shift, at the minimum wage, to earn the much-desired money during the winter school holidays. She bit her cheek as she strained to smile and bow at all the customers that came in that day. "W-welcome, how may I serve you today?"

When she returned to the orphanage, there was only one futon in her dormitory, only one warm body that sat in the room lit by only a single small lamp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Beta.
> 
> While the ideas are fresh and time is available, the chapters will come.


	3. Chapter 3

Usagi woke up to the caretaker’s morning call and a loud rap against her shoji doors. Groaning Usagi popped her head out of the blankets, grimacing at the street lights that came through the thin blue curtains.

She could hear the rustling of the younger children on the move, yelling and screaming as the dashed for the bathrooms. Slowly Usagi stretched out of the covers, yawning loudly she didn't have to look to know it was around six-thirty in the morning. Rolling over till her bottom hit the edge her bed, she fumbled with her bare feet for her slippers before she stood and left her room.

It has been three days since Takara left. Takara had decided to continue with her education, go to high school and attempt college for a higher degree. Her chances with a guarantor, her grandmother, increased her chances in getting a home, a job, a life. Here in Japan if had no one at your back you will fall. Had Takara decided to quit the education system she would have been forced out of the orphanage, like Tomiko. She would have been forced to move and live at a Group Home with other orphan teenagers who had quit the education system, like Tomiko...

Shuffling towards the unisex bathrooms she ignored the usual stench of urine that permeated the air during the colder seasons. Usagi moved around the mass of younger children to stand in front of the mirror. Two older boys, Shinozuke and Hamato, greeted her as they started to brush their teeth languidly, while she threaded her fingers through her knotted braid.

"Hey! Hey! Shino-chan!!" Shinozuke hummed deeply as he lazily turned his tall, lanky stature down. "Can you show how to make that airplane!"

Usagi saw from the mirror little Matsu.

"Piss off kid," the teenager kicked Matsu to the ground, sputtering toothpaste onto his shirt "I've got better things to do." Matsu wailed out the door.

Hamato mumbled. "Yeah, like what dick-head?" spitting out paste then sucking in water straight from faucet.

"Shut your face! I'm leaving this shithole! My dad rocked up here the other day, wants me to work for him. So you know what that means?! I get to leave this fucking sticken arse-end of a prison, get me some money. A life!"

Hamato hummed indifferently, swishing the water in the mouth before spitting out the contents loudly. He ruffled his bushy hair and walked over to cubicle without closing the door. Usagi just saw the beginning of his butt crack and the long constant stream of urine echoed the cold room. He finished as Usagi was brushing through her hair. He did not flush the toilet, nor did he wash afterwards.

"Oi flush the toilet!! No one wants to smell your piss you dirty mongrel!" Shinozuke yelled after the teenager. He scoffed then pointed to one the younger girls "You! Flush that piss!"

"I don't want to." she cowered as Shinozuke approached her, he bared down at her with his tall stature. Shinozuke grabbed her arm and roughly shoved into the cubicle. Usagi blocked the girls whimpers, finishing with her newly braided hair before grabbing her own toothbrush.

A flush and "See it wasn't too hard now was it?" the girl whimpered off.

Shinozuke stood behind Usagi as she brushed her teeth, more vigorously than the boys. Usagi rinsed her mouth and looked back at the teenage boy through the mirror. "So when are you leaving?"

Shinozuke scratched his head, "Dad said sometime after New Years."

"Hnn, so not long then. What does he do?"

"My dad's a fisherman. He'll be going out to sea soon and I'm going with him." A large grin was plastered on his face. "I'll come and see you when I come back, yeah?"

Usagi walked towards the exit "Why?"

He chuckled as he sauntered towards her. "What do you mean 'why?'" as he draped an arm around her shoulders. Usagi roughly pushed them off and walked off.

"What's wrong? Don't you like me."

Usagi simply ignored him.

He cursed and yelled after her. "Cheh, whatever. You're a mongrel! A reject!!"

Usagi sat in her usual spot in the dining area surrounded by younger children. The orphanage manager, Yamahato Keiko, stood by the dinning doors and began to clap her hands loudly, "Pay attention, pay attention!! I have an announcement to make!" the children’s murmuring quickly went silent, "I would like to inform you that Miss Chisuke Chio-san will be leaving us after two years working in here at the Kanakawa Orphanage. Please pay your respects."

The whole dining room stood and in uneven unison shouted out and bowed "Thank you for all you have done." Chio-san, a tired, sad-eyed looking woman bowed back towards the children.

So many care-takers have come and gone, most staying no longer than two years. Chio-san mostly did the evening shifts and a thought struck Usagi. Who would let Usagi in at night when she worked the late shifts?

Looking down at her half-eaten breakfast Usagi felt sick. Curfew for was nine for her age group. Takara was gone, Chio-san tolerated opening the doors after hours but with her gone too...

Usagi jumped out of her seat and ran past the dining doors. "Wait!"

The two women stopped, both waited expectantly, "What is it Usagi-san?" Yamahato asked.

Turning her eyes away from the orphanage manager Usagi turned to Chio.

"Chio-san...I..."

"Chisuke-san. She is no longer a care-taker here." Yamahato exhaled evenly.

Startled by the managers words Usagi became tongue tied. A large knot formed in her throat, words she wanted to let out stuck. Her eyes left Chio-san's face wandering from her feet to the walls. Her arms tensed and slightly shook. She tried to swallow the knot.

"Usagi-san do you have something to say or not?!" Yamahato asked, her eyes narrowing.

Pointing her head down Usagi shook her head, loss for words, what should say anyway? Yamahato released a long-winded sigh "Very well, go back to the dining hall then." Usagi slowly turned around and strode back to her seat. The remains of her breakfast had disappeared when she returned, eaten by guilty eyes that sat around her. Sighing she took her empty plate back up to the kitchen counter and walked back to her dormitory.

She leaned against her desk watching both pedestrians and cars flow by. Today was the 24th December and at dusk young couples were going to parade the city, hand-in-hand, shoulder-to-shoulder. Usagi had seen quite a few couples since she started her part-time job at '6-11 Convenience Store'. She was fascinated the way their eyes shone, a glint... a glitter, something magical was happening with these couples. Ugly, old, young, beautiful or plain, each had that something...

And while Usagi slowly placed her winter coat over her 6-11 uniform she heard Yamahato scream at the younger children, her shrill voice sending shivers down her spine. Zipping up her coat she quickly trotted down the stairs. Quickly shoving her boots she called out "I'm going!" towards the empty hall and left the building. Paying a cheap bus fare to her work, Usagi sat at the front seat again. Looking outside the window Usagi had already spotted a few couples hand-in-hand, blissfully ignoring the cold weather. She blew onto the window and began to trace two hands holding before she had to get off.

When the bus doors closed behind her and drove off a shrill scream broke out suddenly further down the road. Many heads looked up and around, a few stopped even to look back. Even Usagi waited with baited breath, but no further screams came, business went back as usual. Following the lead of everyone else she proceeded towards her destination. Maybe this happens often? Usagi had never left the orphanage except for school. She only started working at 6-11 back in November, nearly two months now. What was she to know the norm that happened outside the walls of the orphanage. Who was she to judge the behavior of normal people.

When Usagi entered the glass automated doors of the store more screams and shouts rose from behind her. "What the hell?" spoke a customer as he walked passed Usagi to investigate. He quickly staggered back as a powerful gush of wind tore through sidewalk outside, shattering the stores glass windows in. Usagi felt her body pushed back, the force hitting the whole of her body where she instinctively closed her eyes as glass shards tore through into her clothes and skin. Her body collided against the shelves by the wall, pain shot through her body from the upper and lower back as well as her thighs before slumping down onto the floor in a heap.

Usagi's eyes opened to a blur, facing away from the store entrance she deciphered the outline of the owner’s daughter lying face-flat behind the counter. Her ears rung, a wave nausea hit her as she moved onto her fours, the blur following her line of vision. She could hear her own breaths and her the echo of her rapid heartbeat within muted ears. Her vision slowly cleared as she breathed in evenly, she spotted the customer lying against magazine rack, a blood streaming down his face.

Usagi gazed down at her bloody scratched hands, a few pieces of chipped glass fell from her palms as she rose them closer to her face. Brushing them off she gently Usagi carefully stood up and took a wobbly step forward towards the scene in front of her.

Cars, furniture and bodies were littered everywhere. The sidewalk was all but rubble.

And everything was quiet.

Taking a tentative step forward outside Usagi gasped when an unnatural wail screamed to her right. She craned her neck towards the wail, wind and metal crashing against cement.

She spotted a girl, coughing, as she run out from smoky debris, away from the wailing screams. Short hair, wearing a short blue fuku, this girl wore an eye shield and held a small pink mini-computer. A small black cat ran beside her.

...Who?

They stopped a several meters away from her. Usagi watched as the cat sprinted back toward hissing wails, the fuku girl furiously typing into her computer, her torso rose and fell rapidly.

"Mercury run!!" she looked up from the small screen to then follow the cat down the street in the direction of Usagi.

When the fuku girl noticed her she stopped mid-run and gaped "Luna! Someone is alive!" A booming crash tore through Usagi’s right again and she watched as gangly fingers grasped a fallen metal beam and a large snake-like creature emerged, hissing from corner building.

A white glove grasped Usagi's arm. "You have to leave, hide! It's too dangerous!!" The eye-shield was cracked across the fuku girl’s line of sight, blood stained her face and teeth, dirt all over body, tears across her uniform.

The monster released a chortled growl, coming out onto the ruined street, in the crook of its back a large ball of light shone, pulsed. It hissed at them, opening its maw wider and with more teeth then was physically possible before it disappeared up inside a purple mist.

Sirens rang and the hold on Usagi's arm slackened. A team of men rushed towards her, "Oi! Are you ok!?!" they called out. A pair of men in white helmets with cross signs and wearing light blue jackets came into her view. "Girl! Are you ok?" and pushed her to seat against the rubble.

Usagi gaped as more men and women flooded the decrepit scene.

Who were these strange men were touching her, asking if she was alright. Usagi breaths began to quicken, her heart felt as if it was about to pop out of her chest. A man in a dark uniform approached them "Girl, do you know what happened?" Her head became heavy as darkness encroached the corners of her vision. Their voices no longer made sense as her breathing overtook hearing and then black.

 

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No Beta

Also, do I have to increase the rating from T to M?

*

I was quite surprised when I saw my emails. When I submitted Chapter 2, the whole idea and fanfic wasn’t even 24hrs old. So thank you! Normally I avoid ‘angsty’ fics cause I’m a sook, but here I am writing one… It really is nice to know that there are people interested in this out-of-the-blue concept. The basic idea of the whole fanfic is sorta fixed, just need to fill in the gaps.

*

While this fanfic is not exactly portraying the whole truth about Japanese orphans, it is in essence the truth. I’ll start writing the basic facts about orphans in Japan. So anything I write in the fanfic, in relation to how orphanages run and how orphans see the world once they leave the facilities, will be written down after each chapter.

One mistake I did was that Japanese teenagers can acquire work at the age 15, not 14 as I have. A minor mistake cause in ‘Stralia! (Australia) kids can take up part-time/casual jobs at 14. I ain’t fussed about it. I made up the 9o’clock curfew as well.

From what I understand Japan calls their Orphanages “Alternate Care”. I’m sticking with Orphanage for simplicity sake.

The age to quit school is 15.

If an orphan decides to quit school they get placed in a “Group home for independent living”. They can live there till their 19. So basically, a home for kids between 15 to 19 year olds.

Children can be placed in “Alternate Care” for reasons other than losing your parents. Reasons can be: neglected or abused, parents are incapable of taking care of their kids, abandonment.

Care-takers are overworked! Emotionally, physically stressed etc. They don’t usually stay any longer than 2 years.

While most “Alternate Care” institutions are modern, clean, safe there are some that are in poor condition which I’m using to incorporate into this fanfic.

Having a benefactor/ guarantor/supporter is a big thing in Japan apparently, crucial even! Even if it’s to rent a home or acquiring a job. If you don’t have one… well then… you’re screwed.

And from what I’ve read the orphans are really sheltered. Emotionally stunted, with how to behave etc. Never been taught anything about the way the world works cause everything is done by their caretakers. They don’t develop the normal skills we find… normal because everything is placed out for them. So when they leave the orphan facilities they’re really going… entering a whole new world with no one to help them and show them the way or how things work. Let that sink in…

ALSO, 24th December is Japanese Valentines day! Who knew? I certainly didn’t!

*

But again, thank you for the encouragement to write this fanfic. It really does bring out that warm fuzzy feeling in your gut. I hope I’m not disappointing.


	4. Chapter 4

 

 

Usagi stood in the middle of a ruined street. Asphalt raised and distorted, buildings torn and ruined. Cars were littered haphazardly, void of colour, rusted and broken. Lamp posts bent, some hanging off electrical lines, some flickered, a small light in a world of grey clouds and red thunder. Broken columns of grey stoned marble jutted out of buildings. Bodies, dry husks, laid as they died, their mouths open in a perpetual scream. Cracked spears and crumbling arrows protruded from chests and back. Shattered swords and dented shields still clung to a few.

In front of her, Usagi stared at a monstrous body of a snake that laid motionless. Rows and rows of ribs laid exposed, its skin slowly melting away. A large clawed hand reached out for her, frozen; the black of its eyes staring back at her intently, empty. Beneath its body rested numerous deformed bodies. Once human but no longer. In the crook of the monsters back sat a dull ball of light that slowly trickled upwards. The dull light trickled from small pointed crystals with faintest grain of light within them.

Despite the quiet, the stillness Usagi dared not move, she was still just out of reach of the giant claw.

"Leave! Hide! It's too dangerous!" cried a voice behind her. A man’s voice.

The thing was dead, there was a large gash split right between its blank eyes. What was there to hide from. Where would she leave? Where was the danger? Everything was dead.

In her right grip Usagi held a stone sword, the ground beneath the tip of the blade was cracked. The shatter line reached the monster, reached the dead, the buildings. All except her. Beneath Usagi's bare feet was soft shining grey sand.

Usagi's body jolted as the shoji doors clattered loudly. She grimaced as she winced from the pain, a dull ache across the back of her body. She carefully readjusted herself to turn her body towards the doors. It was best to stay in her bed till the bathrooms had less traffic. She rubbed her eyes between two fingers, her dreams, though faint in her memories were soon forgotten to the morning lull of sleepiness.

She had left the hospital two days ago. The incident three days ago.

During her stay in the hospital she had scans and physical test performed on her. Even the hospital child psychologists asked about Usagi's thought and feelings on what happened that day and she told the truth. An inquisitive brow rose on the psychologist’s face, with a slow nod as she wrote onto her clipboard. That was before she found out that the officials have announced that a freak earthquake struck the Municipal city of Shinzo. Needless to say, this made Yamahato Keiko, the orphanage manager, upset when she was informed by the junior doctor on the day she was collected from the hospital. Usagi’s overall injures were minimal. She suffered cuts and abrasions on her hands, face and scalp, widespread bruising on her back and that was all. She was told luck must have been on her side, her injuries compared to others that day...

Upon their return to the orphanage Yamahato took Usagi into her office. "How could you say that! A monster hurt and killed all those people!? A monster destroyed all those buildings?! You were the least hurt out of all those involved in this tragedy!" Yamahato screamed.

Usagi shook, her head down, attempting to bow to Yamahato but the strain was too much for her back. Such a small bow to her manager was insulting. She gasped back a cry in both pain and humiliation, but the tears flowed freely down her cheeks.

Yamahato's voice rose higher, "Dull! Dull stupid girl! You bring shame to me and those around you! You are to remain here for the remaining duration of the school holidays! Now get out!" She finished with a heaving breath, tossing a small box of pain medications into her drawers and removing a cigarette and lighter.

"I am sorry Yamahato-san." Usagi formally apologized.

Yamahato simple hand sweep gestured for her leave as she hastily dragged the cigarette in and breath out a puff of smoke. Usagi winced standing up straight before stiffly leaving the office. A group of four children stood at the hall entrance and once they saw who had the manager in an uproar they left back towards the playroom.

Since that day Usagi had only left her dorm only to relieve herself and eat, she avoided Yamahato at all cost. But what kept her in her room was the pain, she would lay in her bed for most hours of the day. Back at the hospital the nurses gave her medication for her pain and on discharge she was only to have them as required. But no one brought her medications, so Usagi thought it must mean she did not require them.

After using the bathroom, Usagi felt too nauseas to eat and returned to her cooling warm blankets. She fell asleep easily from exhaustion. The pain griped her back each night enduring sleepless hours at night.

She awoke just before lunch, and she carefully walked down the stairs, pausing before the final set of stairs for any lurking sounds of Yamahato. After a bowl of rice, miso soup and pickled vegetables Usagi trudged up the stairs back to her room.

Carefully, sitting down by her desk she pulled out one least used school notebooks, and with her black ball point pen she swept the lined paper with curve then down. A sharp curve around an angle. A sharp edge to end it. A torso, a pair of arms, a mouth too wide to be human, teeth too jagged and sharp to be natural. Black eyes gazing straight at her, a white ball on its back.

She knew what she had saw, what she remembered, she was sure...

When the last semester of school recommenced on the 8th of January the monsters in her notebooks were forgotten. The school started with an assembly, the principle reminding the 3rd years of their oncoming High School Entrance exams and of the 2nd years beginning to their 3rd year. He finished with presenting two new students. A boy who was in his 1st year, the other a tall brunette for the 2nd year, who easily towered over her new class captains of her class.

"Woah, she's huge!" spoke a boy in front of her.

"Why isn't she wearing our uniform?" whispered a girl.

The young boy came forward, "My name Ichima Yuki. Pleased to meet you." his voice pitched towards the end, earning a chuckle from the other students. He blushed and bowed.

The tall brunette came forward, she bowed elegantly, her wavy brown hair falling onto the side of her cheek. She lifted her head and with a warm voice she introduced herself "My name is Kino Makoto. I am pleased to meet you."

When they left the assembly, in two straight disciplined lines, two of the boys in her class stopped and gasp.

"Oi! Look, there's a black cat on the school grounds!" the two and several more followed went after the cat until Hurana-sensei, their homeroom teacher, reprimanded them.

As the class lounge comfortably till their maths teacher arrived Usagi spotted the black cat, walking along the school compound wall. It was concentrating up and away from her sight.

"REI!" bolting upright and bowing to their teacher the first lesson of semester began. Thankfully her back no longer hurt.

The day was still clear during lunch hour, a horde of students exited the school building to bask in the warm winter sun. The sun shone through the branches of her favourite bush as she sat down on a small boulder beside the school wall. She bit into her rice ball and observed the gathering of students several metres away from her. Usagi spotted the tall brunette sitting among the group of girls from her new class laughing and smiling.

It was towards the end of lunchtime that Usagi came to realise the full height of the brunette, when they both exited the toilet cubicle before the bells rang. Usagi’s blue eyes gasped when she met with broad shoulders, eyes travelling up, but needed to crane her neck up as well, to meet with soft green eyes, curtained with brown wavy hair. She smiled at Usagi and proceeded to wash her hands. Usagi took a step away from the tall girl, turning towards the sink to do the same. Their hands met at the hand dryer. They both withdrew at the same time, ignoring the rush of hot air.

“It’s alright. You go first.” The brunette told her gently.

Usagi violently shook her head without lifting to meet her eyes and wiped her hands on her uniform instead as she rushed out. She nearly crashed into a group of girls that stood just outside the female toilets and managed with ease to dash around them towards the ascending stairs.

“Hey! Wait! I’m sorry!” she heard the girl cry out.

“What? Are you apologising to her?”

“I-I…”

In Japanese Usagi could feel at ease. The lesson differed to others in that their teacher was old and did not enjoy writing on the blackboards anymore. Totoro-sensei sat in front of them instead of behind the teacher’s counter. His back slightly hunched as he sat. A pair of circular glassed sat on the crook of his nose while he dictated his lesson. Totoro-sensei did not mind if you wrote in your notebook or not, he did not mind if you lounged yourself along your desk. He did not mind when his youthful students burst out laughing at his lessons or interrupted to discuss his chosen topics of the day. Though he was more relaxed than his younger counterparts his punishments were no less severe. But rarely anyone did misbehave in his class, why would you when all the elderly gentleman wanted was just a touch of that fountain of youth.

Umino Gurio dictated Jakuren, a twelfth century Buddhist priest and poet, but after two lines of the poet’s verse Totoro-sensei halted him. “You sound like Mister Roboto-chan, Umino-san.” The class laughed. Umino chuckled awkwardly as he sat back down, “Once we reach modern poetry Umino-san next year I guarantee you will be my first choice to read the verses.” Another chuckle echoed the first.

“Now then.” Totoro-sensei began craning his to look through the class, his brown eyes stopped at Usagi. “Tsukino-san would you do the honour of continuing.” The room was quiet as Usagi stood, trembling as she held the book, she eyed her old teachers withered finger tracing down the page before he looked up with a genteel smile.

Taking a deep breath and averting her eyes down towards words she began. Usagi’s voice was soft and timid, she did not stutter, holding her tone gentle and peaceful.

“Together tonight;

tomorrow the mountain path,

will come between us,

and I shall reside alone,

in my hermitage again,

throughout the night,

we kept the bushwood burning,

in my lowly hut,

and the words that we exchange,

I never shall forget,

deep in this mountain,

I keep the winter indoors:

who would care to call,

on so aged a body,

were it not for you?”

This was strange, should Totoro-sensei not choose another to continue? Despite that Usagi did not falter in her tone as she softly spoke out each word, she failed to notice her fellow students shuffle in their chairs to face her.

“in the twilight mist,

distant villages,

are enshrouded;

I tread the road to my hut,

in the cedar grove.”

“Thank you Tsukino-san.”  Totoro-sensei spoke before she reached the next verse. Usagi lifted her gaze and saw her teacher dab his eyes with his handkerchief. “It is truly sad when so many find an unpolished gem and think it is just a rock.”

She felt her cheeks warm and stood there for a moment before sitting down. Her teacher lifted his gaze again towards the class again, “Suuichi-san if you could continue from Tsukino-san.”

“Yes sir. On every blade of grass...”

On her way out of the school gates she spotted the tall girl kneeling by a black cat, standing beside them a girl with short blue hair.

“So, this is your cat? Wow! She came straight up to me.” She heard the brunette say.

“Yes, but not to everyone.” Spoke the blue haired girl. “You’re new around here are you not? Would you like me to show you around? I can show you the Crown Arcade.”

She agreed as the black cat’s head mauled the brunette hand.

“Hi Usagi-san!” Usagi stopped in her tracks and looked over to her right. The tall girl spoke to her. Usagi watched as she stood up and walked over to her, leaving the cat and the girl behind.

“My name is Kino Makoto. I’m sorry if I scared you in the toilets. I’m really sorry.” The tall girl, Makoto, bowed slightly before her and then lifted her right hand towards her. “I hope we can start over?” Unsure on what to do Usagi grasped her briefcase in both arms and gazed down at the concrete.

Makoto gave an awkward laugh before dropping her hand. “Say would you like to come the Crowded Arcade with Ami-san and me?”

Usagi frowned, was she being asked to come along?

“Aah! I don’t think Usagi-san likes arcades! Err...right?” Usagi lifted her gaze towards Ami, the short blue haired girl. She looked stressed and displeased, even the black cat did as well.

“I am sorry!” Usagi bowed deeply before the brunette before rushing past the school gates.  

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Beta
> 
> And danks for da Kudos!


	5. Chapter 5

\

\

Daily needs are met. The food is given warm. Clothes on your back are free. Distractions are given, inside and outside.

The wall keeps them safe. Warm. Protective. The outside world is harsh. They, the world, will look for them, the faults, the reason why you are there, why you have been left. With no family ties, with no one at your back, you are alone in a world where these bonds place a foothold in your future. 

Bad blood, they whisper, not much is expected from you. Soon you begin to believe them. There is nothing for you. You are nothing.

The caretakers, they care, they really do. You don't get attached to them, you shouldn't. Work too strenuous, tiresome, poorly paid. The lines beneath eyes grow the longer they stay. Their smiles, once warm, slowly fades out as time goes by. They rush to their homes once their shift is done. You are forgotten, until the next day. The daily cycles begin again.

Daily needs are met, food is given warm, distractions are given.

It is their duty to care. Of care, not to care.

They all leave one day. They will leave. And the cycle begins again, warm smiles slowly fading, exhaustion, tired, stressed, leave.

They are not your parents. They are here to provide you the materialistic needs.

It is their duty of care. Not to care, of care.

They care they really do. They really try.

No one has the time to coddle you. There is no time for those small gestures of affection. There is just not enough to give when there is not enough to share around.

One caretaker, thirteen children. Thirteen children, one caretaker.

They all leave, in the end. Everyone does.

Take what you get with a grain of salt.

Your physical daily needs are met. The cycle does not stop.

\

The first buds from the plum trees have emerged. The bare winter trees will soon be engulfed in white, small delicate flowers heralding the first signs of spring, its sweet scent will overcome the city stench.

The icy winds have dropped, the temperatures warmer. The sun comes to greet everyone earlier every day, no longer hiding from the crisp winter cold.

The relief slowly washes over the elderly. Their joints will not be as sore, they will soon stroll down streets, baskets in hand, in the gardens, sitting with the neighbours.

They watch as Usagi slowly walks pass them. She greets them respectfully, bowing low. They greet her back with gentle smiles. They don't know where she came from.

Take everything with a grain of salt.

Respect your elders, her caretakers say, the school, Yamahato-san. Do not take the seats on public transport when there are elders among you, that is disrespectful. Usagi always stands.

She barely reaches the handles. As the train sways and swerves causing her body to lean, causing the handle to angle and her toes to tip up. Warm bodies will hold her in place while the train moves forward, for now.

When the bodies leave, when there is no one behind her, Usagi reaches out for a pole and loops her arm around. More people come in. Someone taller takes her warm handle. The train moves again.

Someone reads the morning paper.

~Disaster in Taka District! Could the Two Sailor Warriors be Hoodlums?!~ page 3

~Shinzo District—Repairs Underway and On Time!~ page 10

A flick of the page.

~Earthquake Expert Prof. Watama Koichi is baffled by the unusual earthquake that struck Shinzo one month ago…~

The paper turns over.

~Are the Sailor Warriors No More Than Disguised Punks?~

The train stops. It was time to get off. Up the subway stairs and into the neighbourhood of Juuban. Usagi spots several students walking in the same direction, in groups or alone.

The slow march towards the school gates. Cars stop outside, students pop out smiling back towards the driver before they rush off.

Kino Makoto walks with a group of girls from her class opposite of Usagi. She towers over girls as she walks behind them. They smile and laugh. She's still not wearing the Juuban Junior High school uniform.

Usagi slows her pace, allows other students to walk past her. Her heart quickens. If Kino Makoto sees Usagi, she will smile at her.

Take everything with a grain of salt.

Her breath quickens. Kino Makoto will say hello if she sees her. She takes a slow deep breath, she stops and leans against the wall.

Take everything with a grain of salt.

Kino Makoto turns with her group into the school grounds. Slowly Usagi creeps forward to give Kino Makoto enough time to change her shoes.

But they meet anyway. By the stairs. Kino Makoto standing from the top looking down at Usagi.

"Good morning, Usagi-san." Kino Makoto smiles at her, it reaches her eyes, that warmth.

Take everything with a grain of salt.

Snickers behind the larger girl. Their eyes are cold. Their smiles crooked.

Usagi's heart clenches. Her lips quivers but no sound comes out. Her eyes prickle.

Take everything with a grain of salt.

In the end she bows and runs. She passes the girl with short blue hair; her body turns to follow her with her own blue eyes.

The bell rings. The class captains stand, the others follow. "REI!" spoke the male class captain today. Their home-room teacher, Haruna-sensei, arrives. The day begins. Another school cycle.

Haruna-sensei leaves.

"Hey have you heard?" Umino croons towards his group of girls.

"What?" They smile at him.,

"That giant girl in 2-C." He brings a chair to sit beside Osaka Naru.

"Yeah…"

"I heard she was kick out of her last school because she beat up some of students there."

Suzuki gasps. "Ehh! Really!"

"How scary..." whispered Yuuki.

"To think our school would accept someone like that." Umino Gurio lived and thrived on gossip. He puffed out his chest, beaming with pride among the girls.

"Umino how did you find this out?" Naru asked, her tone sharp, eyes narrowing.

He flinches, "Ehh." He faces her, Naru. "Takahashi-san told me! And Hitachi-san! They know her from there friends who attends the school where she used to go."

"Has she caused any trouble here." Naru asks.

"Not that I've heard of."

School ends. Another cycle finished. Time to return to the safe walls of her home.

Usagi spots Kino Makoto and the blue haired girl. Ami-san? Their frowning, they run off together. A black cat catches her gaze. They look at each other seconds before the cat runs off after the two girls.

Warm bodies embrace her as Usagi clings to pole on the train. Her gaze turned towards the window, an unknown world rushes past her and when she gets off she walks a familiar road back home.

Usagi stops before white two-story building, she pushes open the creaky metal gate. The front of the building is bare, a simple bench is placed beside the brown wooden door.

"I'm home." Usagi says as she removes her boots and changes into her slipper. She could hear murmurs behind Yamahato's office. Usagi rushes up the stairs to place her briefcase against her metal bed.

A new futon is laid out opposite of Usagi's bed. Someone else is in her room. Another girl sits cross-legged and crying.

The new girl gasps when Usagi drops her briefcase. Their eyes don't meet.

"H-hello?" the new girl sniffles.

Usagi strips out of uniform and into more homely clothes.

"Hello." And she walks out.

A new caretaker has taken over from Chio-san. Her name is Anego. The smaller children have already carolled around this new caretaker. She gave her smiles freely and without restraint. Matsu was one and few that clung to her body, eagerly calling out for her embrace.

Some children played outside, they swung from the swings and slid down the slides. They laughed uncontrollably. Hamato lounge lazily on a bench, his arm cushioning his head as he read a book from the other.

Some watched the colourful pictures on the television screen, ignoring everything around them. The metal hero saving the day again. Shou was one of them, he sat so close to the screen, secretly clinging to a toy beneath his shirt.

You find your own simple pleasures here.

Usagi's was her hands. So long as she kept them occupied she forgot the world around her. She sat by the table with neatly stacked pencils and pens. A piece of paper in front of her, a black felt pen in her right hand, Usagi's eyes travelled with her hand. Spring was coming and Usagi beat mother nature in drawing the first plum flower.

A new scene appeared in front of Usagi the next morning. She stopped and waited by the wall again. Kino Makoto was walking alone to school, she stood out with her different uniform. Her head was faced down as other students gave the giant a wide berth without looking her way.

Usagi did not see her anywhere in the corridors, she received no warm greeting that day. Usagi did not see her among the girls of 2-C during lunch, she could not spot her anywhere. Usagi spotted Kino Makoto at the end of the school day, standing beside the blue-haired girl...Ami-san, the black cat resting on her shoulders. The cat looks back at her.

They left together, turning right.

Usagi left for home, turning left.

The school cycle is finished for the day. Now to complete the days cycle.

 \

\

\

No Beta.

Short and... ah... sweet...

Thanks for everyone's enthusiasm!

 


	6. Chapter 6

 

Chapter 6

 

Leaning against the school wall Usagi watched as Kino Makoto’s form became smaller and smaller, her frame still towering those who walked near her, till she was no more than a distant line. Scrapping her shoe between the lines of the pavers she set her mind to concentrate away from the grip in her heart that spread throughout her chest. She felt like a fool for seeking out Kino Makoto today. The warm smiles, the gentle green eyes. The past two weeks Kino Makoto was nothing if kind to her. To be noticed bought anxious flutters in her gut. But today there was nothing. Like it never existed.

Usagi pushed herself off the wall and began to walk away, down her usual route home.

Head hanging low, she walked past the landmarks she saw every day. The black coated Shiba-Inu across the road dashed and barked at every who crossed his line. The small balcony with numerous empty flower pots. The three vending machines that stood next to a small store and across from a set of concrete stairs descending down.

Usagi grabbed the metal handrail looking over towards the horizon with little enthusiasm and stuck close to the wall to allow quicker people to rush down past her.

Another landmark crossed her sight, a large green road sign.

Azubu 10km ->

Shinzo 7km <-

Usagi had not returned to Shinzo district since the occurrence. The stores were destroyed, roads uplifted, buildings bared to the outside world.

An earthquake struck Shinzo, Usagi remembered Yamahato saying to her, the day she was collected from the hospital.

She wanted to go back and see for herself the devastation that had occurred nearly a month ago but could not bring herself to travel to Shinzo to sate her morbid curiosity.

Usagi waited by the crossing of a busy road, she watched with mild interest as hands reached for the crossing button. Some pressed once, others numerous times before they seemed to be satisfied that their demand will be met shortly.

It was thanks to Chio-san that Usagi received a job at ‘6-11’. She vouched for Usagi to her brother, earning a spot in the small convenience store, until the earthquake struck Shinzo.

Cars halted to a stop at the red lights. The little red man changed green. The horde of people pushed forward, rushing towards the other side of the road.

People were injured, people had died, Yamahato said. Usagi wished she could go back and see. To see for herself what her eyes had missed. But all she could remember was the long winding body of a grotesque creature, jagged teeth, curved claws, the ball of light that clung to the creatures back. It must have been a dream, an illusion. Ever since she found the creature dead in her dreams it no longer plagued her, she never saw it again. 

And darkness always plagued her dreams. Though she knew no better. What else would she dream of? Sleep was a living death.

Slipping through the cracks.

Drowning in black.

Until you woke up gasping. 

The little lamp shop, the candy store, the small grocery store, the book store. Usagi passed them every day. She never went inside them. Your needs were given, you did not need any more than you received.

Usagi saw Chio-san one last time a week after the Shinzo earthquake. She was given her last small pay check. 

She felt a rough push from her right shoulder, causing her to nearly stumble down onto the cement ground. She hissed a curse. Every day she fought through crowds, she avoided them by staying away from the centre, always walking on the edge. Yet sometimes you were caught.

Tomorrow was Saturday. School was only for half a day and she would only have to fight with students for a piece of sidewalk.

But tomorrow was Saturday. Though the school day was shorter Usagi dreaded it.

Tomorrow Saturday morning Usagi would come face to face with a teacher she feared. Suibo Aiko-sensei. Her arts teacher.

Usagi cringed at the thought. The feeling of Suibo-sensei’s firm grip on her shoulders, her breath down her neck, the whispers of encouragement to release herself through her art. Her teachers voice edging towards maniacal as she happily criticised her art. Usagi always was asked to stay behind. Every week. To see that wide grin up close, as Suibo-sensei would hold Usagi's art. That gleeful smile when she opened Usagi's art portfolio.

Usagi shuddered.

She was not looking forward to tomorrow. Or the next week.

Usagi finally left the bustling centre of the Juuban's shopping district down another set of stairs. Electrical wires hung low beside cramped apartment buildings. Stunted winter trees grew along the sidewalk. A few small stores jammed their wares outside their doors.

One more road to cross, one more set of stairs and Usagi would reach Juuban train station.

Stopping by the zebra crossing, Usagi crossed the street with two older men.

A loud growl rumbled to her right. She glanced spotting a large, black polished car approaching. It was approaching them quickly before the black car began a screeching swerve, smoke bellowed from its back wheels, trying to brake. The two men gasped, panic struck them, an elbow struck Usagi’s chest thrusting her straight onto the asphalt.

Landing onto the hard black ground, her briefcase flew open, fanning her notebooks out. Pain struck her left wrist, her hip taking the brunt of the ground. Screams that resounded from the sidewalk was silent in her ears. Usagi whipped her head towards the oncoming screeching black car, it's large grill more visible.

Her heart strike heavily once within her chest. Time slowed down. The screams and cries stopped for a second. The swirling black smoke behind the car stilled. Never tearing her eyes away, Usagi rose her right arm against the black beast.

The second finished, the large black car lurched to a halt.

Her heart began to beat again, rapidly pounding against her chest. Usagi had yet to release a breath. Sitting in the palm of her hand was a deep pressure nestled firmly in front of the vehicle that stood no more than half a metre away from her. The heat of the engine flowed down towards her. A jumping feline was perched above the black vehicles grill.

People rushed to her, picking her up from the crook of her arm, the pressure in the palm of her hand disappeared and the large black car hiccupped forward, its engine shook then died. A crew of men and women threw curses at the driver of vehicle.

Inside the car a muffled voice screamed “What the fuck is wrong with you! You fucking psycho!

Unknown hands held Usagi up as they pushed to the sidewalk, dusting her off. Her left arm twinged, but after flexing her wrist and fingers the pain soon dwindled to nothing. Usagi nodded vehemently to questions that she was alright, they pushed her to sit on a bench. She took her briefcase from a concerned woman.

Usagi lifted her head towards the car. Voices were thrown back and forth within the black car till the passenger door unlocked. The car started up and growled, moving slightly forward, receiving louder curses from the sidewalk pedestrians. The voice from inside screamed again. “Oi Oi Oi! I’m fucking getting out!”

A leg in black shoes and grey pants emerged. “Don’t you dare speak to your Father that way!!” A firm, deep voice yelled within the car. A row of cars began to trail behind the black one, they began to blast their horns. “Get back in the car, boy!”

The car swung open, a tall frowning boy barged out. He cursed turning his dark mop towards the driver “Learn to drive old man!!” he growled, forcefully slamming the door closed. The dark tinted window scrolled down, “Mamoru!”

“Shut it, I prefer to be late than dead! I'll get to CRAM and home myself!” He finished by swinging his briefcase over his broad shoulders. He pushed through the angry mob and rushing across quiet street up towards Juuban's district centre.

The black car roared off, a pitch of speed from the back of the wheels before it quickly disappeared down the street.

"You're bleeding." A middle-aged woman announced. Usagi followed her line of sight. A gash of red and brown marred her left calf. "Come, we'll clean it up for you."

Swiftly standing up from the bench Usagi bowed deep towards the woman. "N-no! It's quite alright, I live close by." Noting that there were others around her, Usagi bowed to them as well, sending her thanks and hurried towards the set of stairs.

Letting out out a shaky breath she grabbed her braid with a tug before dropping the thick plait onto her breast. She cupped her eyes. Her hands were clammy and smelled of asphalt. She was nearly hit by a car, she would have been hit the car, should have been hit by a car.

Yet she felt at peace with it.

An odd sensation rose, a crawl prickled down her spine, a shiver that caused her hairs to stand. She rubbed the back of her neck and stopped mid-way down the staircase to glimpse back to the top of the stairs.

She gasped.

On the top stood the dark-haired boy from the black car, frowning straight down at her. 

Thick, black hair crept past the boy’s brows. Tall. Broad. His physical structure resembled more of a grown man rather than a teenager if not for the private school suit he wore.

His head tilted, examining her before he brought a foot down. Then another slow step, his eyes never leaving hers.

Usagi quickly peered behind her, there was no one else, only streams of people at foot of the staircase. The tingling rose to as sharp pricks in between her shoulder blades. Her eyes quickly slide back to see who only stood only a few steps up.

Usagi could see the colour of his eyes. Deep blue.

He smiled. His teeth were white. It reached his eyes as if he came to recognise her.

She took a step down and so did he.

He slowly dropped his shouldered briefcase to his side as Usagi caught the hand rail, her foot scrapping along the step to find the dip down to the next step.

The boy licked his lips, his mouth opened, prepared to say something. A group of teenagers walked up on the other side of the staircase. They eyed them with a raised eyebrow, focusing more on the boy than her. The boy frowned, his attention momentarily taken away from Usagi who then tore down the stairs at the chance.

The shivers slowly faded the more people Usagi pushed aside and disappeared completely as she urged herself up the pedestrian bridge that spanned over the busy road. Once Usagi landed on the other side she instantly looked back.

There he was, on the other side, looking straight at her. But he made no move to follow her and soon turn back towards the stairs

Usagi rushed for the subway, looking back often for any black mop of hair. Although Usagi saw him ascend the stairs, she could not shake the feeling that there were eyes on her. It was not until the train doors closed that Usagi could release the heavy breaths she held inside.

*

Usagi slammed the heavy brown doors with a loud thump.

She was safe.

These walls protected her.

Stripping out of her boots and tearing her coat off she winced at the high-pitched cries echoing from upstairs.

She spotted Shou standing by the entrance to the playroom, his backpack hanging loosely from his shoulders. His eyes gazed up at her as Usagi peered inside from the corner of the door.

Matsu was beating the ground with his hands and feet, his face red and swollen from tears. Anego, the new caretaker, attempted to sit him up but he thrashed too much for the caretaker to lift him. Another child wailed with another older caretaker, Miyu.

Usagi spotted another fight brewing at the corner of the room, or maybe that was where it all started?

Miyu-san held a little screaming girl hands, ordering her to stop with no success. The little girls whipped her head in hysteria, kicking Miyu straight in the shins.

This was nothing new. You eventually grew out of it, once you realised nothing belonged to you, that you belong to no one.

This was a scene she had often seen. This was normal.

“You’re bleeding.” A hand grabbed onto Usagi arm. Nagisa-san, a caretakers who had been here the longest, looked down at her. The older woman tilted her head towards Usagi’s leg before dragging her towards the staff room with a firm grip. Shou continued to watch the playroom.

Nagisa-san sighed heavily as she closed the door behind them and lead Usagi to sit down.

Usagi landed on the with a scrapped along the vinyl floor and watched as the middle-aged caretaker released a heavy sigh. Yanking out a red first aid kit from a cupboard above the small bar fridge, Nagisa-san dropped the red bag onto the table, pulling out packets of gauze and ampules of liquid. The doors swung open when Nagisa-san finished wetting the gauze.

“Arg! The new girl is useless! Nagi have you finished your meal break?” Miyu-san huffed as another pitched screams crawled inside, followed by Anego’s rising voice. Miyu-san slammed the door closed muffling the screams.

Nagisa-san tsk’ed at her co-worker. Miyu ruffled her head and grunted. “I’ve had it up to here!” throwing her arm over her head, “The elementary’s are on their way back and we need this racket to settle down!” Miyu-san heaved out.

Nagisa-san cursed beneath her breath, pinching her nose causing her glasses to rise above her brown eyes. With another heavy sigh Nigasa-san looked up at Usagi “Can you clean your own wound?”

“Y-yes.”

Nagisa-san stood then, hissing as her knees popped. She leaned onto the table and slowly stretched her cracking back.

“Make sure you leave once you’re done.” Nagisa-san-san ordered, slamming the door behind her. Nagisa-san own voice rose over the screams. Usagi could hear the walls being smacked till eventually all she could hear Nagisa-san voice as she began to dictate to the younger children, very much the same way Yamahato had done with her several weeks ago.

Usagi picked up the damp gauze and began streaking up her leg. She observed as the woven gauze lifted her blood and the grim off. Some moisture from the gauze leaked, trailing bloody liquid down her leg till it rested on her bloody socks.

There was no string, there was no pain.

Swapping the dirty gauze for the next, Usagi again streaked up her leg.

No sting. No pain.

Once the leg was cleaned Usagi inspected herself.

There was no wound.

Just healthy skin.

Usagi frowned, placing the dirty gauzes back into its packet. Usagi pressed and dragged her thumb down hard along the wet skin, searching source of the bleed. She could not find it.

Maybe it wasn’t her blood?

Usagi walked out of the office frowning, closing the door with a click.

Before walking towards the stairs Usagi peered one last time inside the playroom. Each small child sat in front of the bland yellow wall in a long row that nearly spanned the entire room. Small, quiet sniffles were the only thing that came out of the playroom now. It seemed that every child was punished, regardless if they were involved.

Youko, the girl who now shared her room, was dragging herself up the stairs before she spotted Usagi. The two walked together to their dorm.

Youko slid the shoji doors closed. “How was your day today, Usagi-san?” she then asked.

“Fine.”

Youko sighed sadly and watched as Usagi stripped in front of the girl with little care. Her eyes lingered on Usagi’s form “You know you’re really thin. I can see your ribs and spine.”

Usagi scowled back at the girl before pulling her long-sleeved jumper over her head.

“I suppose that’s what happens when you don’t have parents.” Youko continued, her voice was soft. “My mother says that some girls do it on purpose. She’s a nurse, she’s seen things.” Usagi hung her uniform on small course rack by her metal bed.

“So how long have you been here? There are so many younger kids, you’re the only other girl my age.” Youko leaned against her futon.

“They've left.”

Youko waited for Usagi to continue but the silence dragged instead. “Mama and Papa are still fighting custody for me. I don’t want to stay here. I don’t want to be like everyone here. I.... ” Youko stopped as Usagi’s frame shadowed hers. Her blue eyes wore no ill expression as she gazed down. “I told them I want to go with Papa. Mama was the bad one, having an affair with that doctor.” She hissed. “I can’t do anything here, it’s boring, the food is horrible. It’s a prison!”

It was then Usagi lifted her gaze and sneered at the girl, her small frame shadowed Youko’s face.

Every child here at the orphanage was here for the same reason. There was nowhere else for them to go.

Not everyone arrived here for the same reason either.

Most orphaned children did not came from a gentle home, to them this was a safe-house. You either came here yourself or were taken away by authorities. Like Shinozuke and Shou. Sadly, it is more than common than one may think.

Not all orphaned children here have lost their parents. Like Matsu and Takara. That is, in itself, rare.

Not all orphan children are forced or ran away from their families, some... their poor parents, unable to feed and support themselves, let alone their most precious possession. Rare as it is, the poor exist in Japan. Like Hamato. He sees his parents, often. He is loved. He has not forgotten how to smile outside the white building walls.

Then there are the unheard of, the abandoned. Like Usagi. Thrown away, for what reasons one can guess.

Youko cried every night as her parents battled out for custody of their only child. She was wanted by both- Youko only desired her father- but the words of a suffering child held no ground in the eyes of the law.   

“Don’t let the caretakers hear you talking about your past. It’s not allowed. You shouldn’t burden others with your past. You shouldn’t burden yourself either. It’s your own story to keep and not to share.” Usagi hissed, her voice monotone. “No one here cares. We’re all here because we don’t have anywhere else to go.”

 

\--

No Beta


	7. Chapter 7

OMFG I posted the wrong chapter file—how embarrassing… I am…was sleep deprived from night duty… I have reposted the correct chapter, still the same, just more depth.

Thank you for the R&R’s!

 

Chapter 7

 

Kino Makoto pouted as she walked to Juuban Junior High. What luck, she grimaced, that she had enrolled herself into school that participated in Saturday lessons. But time was short during the winter holidays; there was not enough time to search for a school that did not do any club activities on the weekend. School clubs were for after school hours, weekends were for herself.

At least it was only for three hours...

The students of Juuban rushed past her, the boys quickly stealing glances as they walked past her, the girls rushed whimpering as they made eye contact. Makoto sighed inwardly and slump. Dejected, Makoto had hoped that by enrolling herself to a more ‘posh’ Junior High that the tales of ‘Herculesa Kino of Ichisan Junior High’ would not reach Juuban. After all Tokyo housed over ten million.

Sadly, the odds were not in her favour.

Makoto knew she stood out by not only her uniform, but by her overall physical form. Her height was that of male high school senior. She easily towered the tallest male junior student by at least half a head. Her growth spurts rivalled boys, her overall consumption matched every hungry pubescent boy. Her physique was that of any maturing girl, soft with curves that were still developing. But there was one thing that made her stand out though, one that made her family physician and PE teacher scratch their heads, none matched her strength. No one.

How did the rumours spread so quickly, she wondered... Her first two weeks were peaceful, pleasant. There were no fights to stop, there were none started. The municipal district of Ichisan was on the other side of town, there was nothing in Juuban that Ichisan did not have. Who would be bothered to travel all the way here? But the stories had spread, with whispers, with glares. Disgust from those she became to think as friends.

She was unwelcomed.

Makoto gripped her briefcase. It is what it is. Live with it until it tries to bite you.

Not even a year in Tokyo and Makoto was beginning to regret returning to her childhood home. It wasn’t how she remembered it, everything was different, changed.

Was it worth for a dream?

She left her maternal grandparents, she left her aunts, her uncles, her little cousins. Her friends. Did she leave all that for a dream... Did she really leave her mountain city of Takayama for Tokyo?

‘Big breaths now Makoto.’ Encouraging herself did little though to the pang in heart.

She lived now alone. Her grandmother had returned the mountains, back to her family. The two-bedroom apartment, left behind by her deceased parents, was all that brought her back to Tokyo. She wished sometimes it never existed.

She and her grandmother were excited when they lifted the white sheets that covered her childhood home. They cleaned the windows and dusted the apartment out less than a year ago. They switched on the amenities, bought new bedding supplies, whitegoods. Makoto was happy until the winter came. It had not even been a month since her grandmother left. Makoto wished, somewhere behind the reasons and the pursuit for her dream that, she left with her.

Makoto lumbered forward. Weekends were supposed to for herself. They were supposed to be with her family...

Memories of being alone stirred in the back of her mind.

She spotted Ami by the school gates, leaning against the white school plaster wall, concentrating on the small screen in front of her. A black feline perched on the girls left shoulder, she received odd looks from several students, but she never noticed.

With a tap of her shoulder, dark blue eyes met her green. An exchange of greetings, a large smile, forced, neither of the smiles were real. Tight, tense. They didn’t know each other that well. Their eyes downcast as they dragged themselves past the school gates to sit upon a wooden bench, that sat beneath a budding plum tree.

Silence.

They sat side by side. The feline and her companion whispered to each other. They cannot be overheard. The talking cat can be seen but not heard. To anyone it looked like the blue-haired girl was talking her, not the cat. Even if Makoto wished to speak, to voice her suggestions, it would matter little. In the grand scheme of things, it would not benefit the felines quest, and so Makoto stayed quiet, playing the part of an attentive listener.

Makoto was the grunt, the tank to take on the heavy work. Her physical prowess was the only trait she offered to Sailor Warriors.

A gentle smile grew on Makoto’s lips as she gazed up at the winter trees. Today Makoto would set aside her mantle of strength; today she would show the gentler side of physical prowess.

Leaning her arm against her lap, Makoto cupped her head. The day was crisp and clear, the weather slowly becoming warmer. In Takayama she would have seen the winter birds arriving home, the animals slowly waking. She swallowed down the grip in her throat, she would be missing Takayama’s spring festival for the first time.

Dropping her head, she swallowed the grip again, her vision blurred, she brushed the unfallen tears against her sleeve. She found the black cat trotting away, her tail straight with a slight curve at the tip. Overexcited boys spotted her and began to take chase, startling the poor black cat to bolt out of the school grounds. She chuckled, sniffling as she watched.

She frowned and thought. This was only a chapter of her life. She will not give up just yet. It was new year. Things will get better.

Makoto looked over beside her, towards the girl with glasses between her brow. She watched as the blue-haired girl tapped on her keyboard, her gloveless finger gliding across the screen.

Makoto sighed heavily. Makoto and Ami were friends, but they only tapped the surface of their friendship. As Sailor Warriors it was important to get along, to understand each other, to work with each other.

The life of a silent and unthankful heroism was definitely not what Makoto expected when she met Luna. A protector of People. A warrior against the Dark Kingdom. A guardian of a Moon Princess. This was a side chapter of her life. Silent. Hidden. Secret.

While Luna had answered Makoto’s long-lived questions, the truth to her being, as to why she was different did ease the resentment she had towards herself. She wondered if Ami felt the same.

Makoto sat up and peered over Ami’s shoulder, the screen now more visible. A simple graph plotted across Ami’s screen.

“What’s that?” she queried.

Ami hummed, tilted her head without letting her eyes leave the screen.

“That you’re doing… What are you doing?” Makoto reiterated. Looking away from her screen Ami seemed perplexed by the question.

“Oh?!” Ami stopped, holding the machine in both hands, she turned to face Makoto. Her blue eyes scanned over her computer screen once more, deep in thought, before lifting her head towards Makoto again.  “I’m analysing energy levels.”

Makoto frowned, watching as Ami’s focus returned to her screen. They hardly ever spoke unless they were fighting Youma, or Luna had instigated a conversation between them.  “And?”

Ami faced her again. “Oh... you want to know?” Makoto nodded.

They really did hardly speak to each other. Were it Luna who asked the question, Makoto had no doubt that Ami would have spilled the words that she held back constantly.

Ami paused for a brief second, adjusting her glasses that sat on her nose, quickly stealing a glance back down onto her lap. “Well…  I suppose the best way to begin is...” Ami stopped again.

Makoto raised a brow. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Coughing gently, briefly catching her green eyes “Well... as Luna explained it to me, every living creature emanate a particular type of energy.”

This was not what Makoto expected... “Alright…”

The blue-haired girl licked her lips “This program that Luna and I devised,” referring to her mini-computer, “helps Luna and I analyse every single Energy that crosses her path, in hopes to find the Moon Princess and/or potential allies and enemies.”

“...Go on.”

Ami pressed several buttons, showing Makoto an unplotted graph. The vertical axis tagged as ‘Energy-Spectrum’ while the horizontal ‘Date’. “Luna sends information to me every second, every day.” A search bar dropped in the centre of the screen, Ami typed in dates from today and three weeks ago. The screen disappeared for a second, a loading screen popped then a series of dark lines travelled across the screen, rows and rows of dark lines sprouted out from the vertical axis.

Blinking, Makoto stopped to think. How could a cat, albeit a talking one, detect peoples energy? “How does Luna search for people?”

Ami tapped her forehead. “Her crescent, it scans everyone that crosses her path.”

Huh, wha da know…

“Luna doesn’t understand how she sees this energy. We glow apparently. Shine, like a star in the midst of darkness. Like how we see neon lights at night. Every living creature has an aura. I theorised, afterwards, that maybe she saw the spectrum **.** Visible Light. White light. The ‘visible light spectrum’. The wavelengths of the rainbow.”

Makoto looked Ami up and down “Wait... What?” glancing down at her screen again. The rows black flooded the mini-screen and among the black were three, strong visible colours.

“This is how we found you and Rei-san.” Glancing at the blue-haired girl, Makoto now saw her in a different light. “The green line is you, red is Rei-san and I’m blue. The darker tones are everyone else.” Ami smiled at her. “Our powers are like wavelengths in the spectrum. Our auras portray our Power. Each colour of the spectrum corresponds to a certain type of power.”

Makoto mouth dropped “So Green is Lightening. Red is Fire and Blue, Water?” Ami nodded. “And the black?”

“They’re not truly black. They are just not bright.” Ami explained.

…No wonder Luna was enamoured with the girl.

Makoto gestured for Ami computer who passed it over delicately. Makoto studied the three bright colourful lines sitting in between the black. She could see now that the vertical axis clearly, a rainbow. Red at the bottom, purple on the top. Each of her Sailor comrades sat accordingly to their spectrum of the rainbow. “You really found me and Rei with this?” she whispered, amazed.

Ami nodded, a soft chuckle escaped her lips “Ingenious is it not?”

A pause and Makoto grinned, carefully returning the computer to Ami. “Pity Luna found Rei.”

Ami giggled “It’s not our choice, we’re destined to protect the Moon Princess, regardless of how we feel about each other.”

Makoto rolled her eyes and chuckled “You sure red isn’t for ‘Bitch’ instead of ‘Fire’?”

“Oh, she’s not that bad.” Ami chuckled. “She says she finds us tolerable.”

Makoto shook her head “That’s not a complement, Ami-chan.” They shared a giggle. It felt good.

“So, what colour is our princess?”

“Luna is unsure.”

“Or she can’t remember?”

Ami shrugged, returning to her small screen but did nothing else.

Makoto noticed a small blonde walk into the school grounds. Makoto leaned onto her lap again, “So, what do you see with Usagi?”

Ami raised her head following Makoto’s gaze, “Nothing to that makes her stand out, however...” Ami pressed several buttons, opening a file named TU.elxs.  “As I said, Luna scans everyone she crosses daily, that includes Youma attacks.” The screen went blank.

“Over a month ago, before we found you and Rei, there was a Youma attack in Shinzo.”

“I have heard of that! Media thinks it was an earthquake caused all the damage.”

Ami removed her glasses, holding them in her right hand as she pinched her brow between her eyes, and took a long breath in, slowly exhaling. “So many people died, so many injured. I saw Usagi at Shinzo, standing amongst the debris, mostly unharmed.” 

Makoto frowned, she was unaware of this.

Ami slipped her glasses back on as she sighed, typing the date ‘19xx-12-24’.

Two weeks before Makoto started at Juuban, during the winter holidays.

Then computer screen came to life, rows of black shot across the screen, many of them vanishing less then half-way. Void of green and red, with only Ami’s blue, there was an unmistakable bright pink band sitting in between the blacker tones. Makoto studied it closely, noting that the pink band was at first a darker shade before it burst into colour and fading into black again.

Ami zoomed into the screen with her fingers, focusing on the short bright pink bar. “It has only happened once and only for a split of a second, like an electrical pulse. This is why Luna is investigating Usagi-san.”

Makoto licked her chapped lips. So, this was why Luna kept creeping around the girl, she wished she knew. They were collecting information about her. Did they think she an enemy, or an ally?

“I theorised that this to be a ‘flight or fight’ response, however Luna says that the sudden increase in Energy is abnormal-- ‘You either are a star or you are not’.”

Ami wavered, taking a deep breath as she looked ahead of her, “What happened at Shinzo was a disaster. As I fought that Youma I saw people die, their spectrum, their energy fading off the screen. I saw them die, and I could do nothing about it!” A sob escaped Ami’s throat, she grasped her face, arching her back down to her knees. “I was too weak to save anyone.” She sobbed softly. “Had I not found you or Rei-san. Had I not found you at all,” her voice crackled softly “there would be so much more deaths...”

Makoto cursed as Ami wept. She pick her into an embrace, pulling Ami’s shoulder against her own. She really did not know this girl. “Hey, it’s all good now. You’ve found us!”

Ami had been fighting the longest, fighting alone with only her wits to save her. The warrior of Mercury was not the grunt but the support, Makoto realised looking over at the mini-computer held in the crying girls grasp. She helped more than Makoto had been aware, more than she herself was capable of. Makoto brought her other arm around, bringing her into a full embrace. She didn’t know Mizuno Ami. They still were in the shallow end of their friendship. “It’s okay, Ami-chan, we’re here for you now.”

The first bell rung, Ami sniffled, lifting her head. “Oh dear.” She fretted, taking in slow breaths while fussing with her belongings. “Do I look fine?” her voice cracked.

Makoto gently chuckled, looking over Ami, a face pink and red glazed eyes. “Give yourself a minute or two.” she suggested. “We’ll take it slow, we got ten minutes before the next bell.”

They strolled slowly towards the school doors, Makoto stopped by the entrance and groaned. “I can’t believe I’m going to school on a Saturday.”

Ami giggled, wiping a stray tear. “Oh Makoto-chan, it’s only every second and third Saturday of the month for club activities.”

Makoto huffed loudly “Yeah... I know… Well!” she started, puffing out her busty chest and fisting her palm. “Time to test out my art skills!

/

Makoto peeked warily through the sliding doors of the arts room. Her eyes scanned the room. Long and wide, the art room was crammed full of canvases, with clay moulds in questionable positions. Chairs and desks lined carelessly in around the room. She spotted Usagi’s silhouette quickly, her small frame gazing out the window at the other end of the room.

Licking her lips and taking a deep breath Makoto slowly slide the door open, focusing on Usagi. “Hey you.” Makoto dropped her gaze. “You’re that new initiate, right?” Makoto’s shoulders slumped. Ugh… “Yeah, I am.”

A bob-cur girl inspected Makoto up and down, swaying her hips as she hummed. “Alright, if you want to become a member you’ll have to do a simple test.”

Ugh... “A test?”

“Yes. We don’t let just anyone to join.” The bob-cut girl gestured with a flick of straight hair, placing a hand then on her hip. “Art…” the girl began, her tone edging towards snarky, “…is a serious matter. You either have it or you don’t.” she explained with a side bobbing of her head. Makoto held back the urge to roll her eyes, she instead closed them with a twitch “We don’t support anyone if Suibo-sensei-sama deems your art poor. We certainly won’t feel sorry for you if Suibo-sensei-sama uses you as a prop dummy for the class.”

“What?” her eyes snapped opened. What was this about a prop dummy?

“However! If you do have what it takes to join us then you’ll receive free art supplies, or anything you want, providing that Suibo-sensei-sama agrees.”

“Right...” Makoto nodding, stealing glances at the girl in the other side of them room.

“Sit here.” The bob-cut girl ordered pointing at a desk in the corner of the room, in front of the entrance. Makoto huffed and grunted as she dropped herself onto the chair, glaring up at the bob-cut girl. “My name is Outoma Hatsumomo” the girl announced, “I am the Vice-President of the Arts Club. My brother, Outoma Seiichi-nii-san is the Predisent. We two will decide if you are suitable to join us. And… so… you are?” She asked, leaning her head to level with hers.

“Kino Makoto...”

A delicate brow rose, standing up straight “Oh? I’ve heard of you.” She smiled.

A grin twitched along Makoto’s lips “Have you now?”

Hatsumomo tilted her head and snickered, her smile stretching her face. “Draw me your favourite animal. If you pass, then you may stay, we don’t judge here. You have…hmmm... fifteen minutes.”

Makoto chided towards Hatsumomo, her gaze drifting again to meet Usagi’s gaping stare, disbelief portraying her blue eyes. Makoto waved and threw a grin, chuckling as the blonde blushed, quickly turning back towards the window.

‘This was it!’ Makoto thought, turning her concentration to the ‘Initiate desk’. She felt determined, confident that today she and Usagi would connect, gain her trust in some way or form. Whatever Luna thought of her in the end would not matter to her.

Finally, looking down at the desk it was then Makoto noticed that there was an assortment of pens, pencils, erasers, three choices of paper and a... paper pencil? People walked in the room behind her as she examined the white papery stick, bringing it in front of her face, tilting it, even scratching the tip. She noticed it then, dropping the paper pencil to gape the most hideous poster she had ever seen. Her eye twitched as she squinted towards the grotesque picture of something, with wide uneven eyes, a nose that was grossly too large with lips to match, and a colour scheme the Makoto found unpleasant.

On top of the poster, in large bold characters wrote ‘Praise Pablo Picasso-Dono!!!’

“Oo-kay…” Makoto whispered, placing her left hand above her brow to avoid looking at the poster. She chose the smoother of the three papers, picking up what she recognised as a ‘normal’ HB pencil.

Makoto brows furrowed as she drew her favourite animal, the wolf. It took her some time to draw her wolf, the same wolf she had drawn for many years. She rubbed her wolf out more times than she cared, flicking the threads from the eraser away, till she seemed pleased with it.

“Times up.” Hatsumomo purred from behind Makoto’s ear, her breath was so light it sent shivers down Makoto’s body, causing her to crush the piece of paper from fright. A light snicker and Hatsumomo’s arm reached over her shoulder, prying the crumpled drawing before walking off.

“What do you think, Seiichi-nii-san?”

“Poor.”

“Yes. I quite agree. Poor.”

Makoto rolled her eyes and took the opportunity to dash across the room. “Hi Usagi-san.” She softly spoke startling the blonde girl away from the window, as Makoto grabbed a seat, placing it in front of Usagi’s desk. “How have you been?”

Makoto’s wolf came into view. “This will not do.” Makoto growled, snatching her drawing inside her fist from Hatsumomo. A boy stood beside her who looked remarkably like... ah… her...

“We hold a high standard and praise ourselves here at Juuban Junior High for our excellent visual arts.” Hatsumomo’s brother began to drone, looking down at Makoto from his nose. “With the help of our gracious teacher, Suibo-sensei, we have awed the public with our talents. While we have odd apples here, we cannot, have one bad apple bring down our reputation. We do not turn away talent, as you can see from our present company.” Makoto gaped the boy, “We simply do not take in all strays out of pity.” He sniffed when he finished, raising his nose with disdain.

Makoto chortled darkly... it seems she met her first prick at Juuban!

LoVely~!!

Makoto gripped the back of the chair, she could feel the wood crack; her temper rose, heating her body, as she held back trembling fist. She rose slowly from her chair, stretching to her full height till she towered over the siblings. It didn’t matter anymore, Juuban knew, they already knew that the female Hercules of Ichisan was enrolled here. They each took a step back as she hissed “I’m sorry, do ya mind repeating that last bit? I didn’t quite hear…”

The doors slide open, other students quickly scrambled their seats, the siblings1 stumbled away back to their seat at the front of the room.

A teacher.

Makoto backed down immediately, turning her seat forward, sitting down with a not a second longer Seiichi barked “Rei!”. Makoto gritted her teeth, forcing herself not glare at them, and bowed the art teacher.

Suibo-sensei happily threw her bag onto her desk, ignoring her students bows, and happily greeted everyone with open arms. The art room then became alive, students shuffled and scrapped their tables to sit across from their friends, pulling out thick artbooks, pencils, brushes brought from the window counters. The room burst with talk and laughter, wild as the room setting was. All except for the siblings, whose desk was straight orderly as they were. They spoke with Suibo-sensei, who seemed enamoured with them, nodding at every word they spoke.

Makoto copied the class, lifting the desk around. Makoto hoped she had not scared Usagi off with her temper. When Makoto finally aligned her desk with Usagi’s, she found that Usagi had placed an assortment of colourful pens neatly onto her desk, a dark thick bound book sitting in front of her. She looked calm, despite the slight blush that painted her cheeks. Makoto could not help but smile “So, how are you Usagi-san?”

Usagi’s bright blue eyes flickered towards her green. A timid “Fine.” was all Makoto received. A shy smile, the faint blush painting across now her nose. Pushing back her stray blonde hair behind her ear, Makoto watched as Usagi slowly picked through her assortment of dark and colourful pens.

Makoto evened out her crumpled little wolf. “Hey Usagi?” the blonde looked up, “Do you really think my wolf is that bad?” Usagi dropped he gaze towards her wolf. Makoto thought her little chubby wolf was... cute, it was by no means an accurate portrayal of the animal, especially with its stumpy short legs and round belly.

“No,” a tight reply came. “I-it’s cute…”

“Well then.” Makoto laughed gently. “That’s all that matters.” Usagi brow furrowed, her mouth quivered up.

Usagi carefully opened her artbook onto a clean page, leaving the remaining pages hidden, her thumb pressing hard down the spine of the artbook. Usagi hand hovered over a clean page, her eyes examining Makoto’s chubby wolf before her hands began to glide along the rough paper. Round strokes several times along the same line before leaving to resume and connect. A body formed, then a tail, a head.

Makoto smiled softly as Usagi concentrated on the task before her, a pink tongue poking past her lips. She watched Usagi pick out a fine-tipped pen, her eyes squinting as she drew the details of fur, eyes, a shiny black nose, claw tipped paw.

Makoto gaped, watching as her fat wolf became alive. “Wow,” Makoto breathed out “you’re really good.” Picking up her own wolf, awkwardly laughing, this club was out of her league, “No way my little guy could ever compete with yours!” Makoto joked.

Usagi frowned, shaking her head “No...”

Makoto pouted staring at her drawing. Her poor little, fat wolf…

“...it’s not important as to what your art looks like, sometimes with art, it is important just to look and not judge.”

Makoto lifted her eyes and stared at the smaller girl whose blush quickly spread down her neck. “Umm… w-what I meant was...I...” Usagi stammered, her eyes roving everywhere but her.

“Thank you, Usagi-san.”

Usagi blinked several times, coughed into her hand and grabbed her braid, caressing it hastily. “U-ummm you’re welcome...” she croaked, a smile rising that refused to leave.

“Ah, so you are our new member?” spoke a honeyed voice.

Suibo-sensei stood in front the two. A curvy woman, dressed in quite homely clingy clothes, gazed down at them, her eyes were deep brown, her light brown hair hung freely past her shoulders.

Makoto quickly rose and bowed. “Yes, my name is Kino Makoto. I recently transferred to Juuban. I have yet to join a club officially. Thank you for allowing me to experience your class Suibo-sensei.” Suibo-sensei paid no attention to Makoto, her gaze instead lingered towards Usagi who trembled beneath her gaze. “I see you have chosen to sit with my little rare bird.” Her voice husky as she took a small step left. “My little shining star.”

Frowning, Makoto watched as Suibo-sensei reached out for the open artbook, pulling it towards her by the corner. “My Tsukino-san, you have been busy during the holidays.” Suibo-sensei gushed as she flicked through thick pages. Curious, Makoto took a peek, her mouth dropped, gaping wide. There was not a spot of free space, no corner untouched, each page was traced or drawn in black pen, with streams of white or colour that broke through the monotonous colour of darkness.

As the teacher slowly flicked a page, one by one, Makoto slammed her hand down, surprising them both. Makoto’s eyes roved over an unmistakable silhouette. Thick black lines whirled and shaped its long body, fine black lines accentuate a grotesque head, live glassy black eyes peering up at her.

“Is it not beautiful!!” Suibo-sensei raved, awed, marvelled.  

The background drawn boldly, destroyed buildings, broken beams, the ground torn.

_‘…What happened at Shinzo was a disaster _...’__

Vibrant colours sat along the Youma’s back, dripping upwards before fading in delicate spots of colour, then black.

‘ _…I saw people die, their spectrum, their energy fading off the screen. I saw them die, and I could do nothing about it! _’__

Suibo-sensei questioned Usagi’s inspiration, she prodded and probed but Usagi refused to answer.

‘… _I saw Usagi at Shinzo, standing amongst the debris, mostly unharmed.’_

Makoto’s hand dropped from the page...

_‘This is why Luna is investigating Usagi-san’_

She had seen this scenario before. Once upon a dream…. Of ruins, glowing eyes as death rose around them...

Makoto inhaled returning her focus to Usagi. Suibo-sensei now loomed over the small blonde’s form, her smile wider, her breath huskier. “Usagi-san!” Makoto cried, startling both, “Come with me to Crown Arcade after school! Please!”

“Ah!” Suibo-sensei voice rung with glee. “What a wonderful proposition!” hovering closer to the shaking girl. “A chance to inspire your mind!” she inhaled with obvious excitement.

“Yes, yes! Yes!”

Was that answer for Makoto or Suibo-sensei?

Suibo-sensei’s body shook from excitement, patting Usagi's golden mop, sending even shivers even down Makoto's spine. The gesture seemed too personal. She held herself back as she watched the teacher lean down to Usagi's ear, who nodded at every whisper. Too personal…

Makoto eased back into her chair as Suibo-sensei finally walked off, Usagi focusing on the snake Youma, her delicate fingers gliding along the creatures back before closing the book shut. Makoto watched as she pulled the portfolio into her lap, hidden now from her view.

Makoto glared as the art class when she heard whispers, hidden behind their hands. She noticed Suibo-sensei did not approach any other student. “You draw really well, Usagi-san.” Makoto praised. "You should be proud!" Usagi all but shrugged.

The remaining hours of the class was filled with jokes and amusing stories of the winter holidays. Even Usagi laughed, her smile unhinged, wide, real. Makoto had learned a bit about Usagi this day. She had seen what laid hidden between the pages, the experiences Usagi dealt with alone. What Ami had experienced that day...

As the school day drew to the end Suibo-sensei announced that this was her last semester at Juuban. She was transferring to Mugen Academy, and before she left she wished to leave a mark that Suibo Aiko once prowled these very halls. She proclaimed more than announced, yelled more than spoke.

Makoto cringed at the arts teacher. How a teacher such as Suibo-sensei obtained a position at one of Tokyo’s famous private school was… actually she didn’t care. Makoto succeeded in the first step of her mission for Luna and Ami, and whatever happened afterwards, Makoto would not let the small girl slip through.

After all, her and Makoto, were in some ways the same. One was: neither had parents. Makoto was young when her parents passed away. It took a while for Makoto to realise what she had gained when her maternal grandparents took her away with them to the mountains of Takayama, where her mother’s family resided. She did not understand at the time the plight of those who were left behind, alone, cut off from everything and everyone.

She remembered how scarce a tender kind word was. How rare a warm embrace by gentle arms was. She understood now that a kind word, a gentle smile could lift the heaviest of shadows from those who never could see past the dark shroud.

Makoto was going to make this chapter of her life meaningful for someone else.

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No Beta

Sorry for errors, words hurt my eyes…


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

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He swiftly walked. He had to make it. A lead like this was not to be missed. He pushed and passed aside pedestrians, he ignored the red man as he darted across the road earning him well deserved horns from cars.

He could not let this opportunity pass!

It was vital as the protector of this planet. Essential! The small window of chance needed to be chased and grasped. It was his duty!

He turned into an alley and called forth his planets power beneath his feet. His steps became lighter, unbound by the weak power of gravity, he shot up the red brick building in a single leap, landing gracefully on top of the roof. The sun had not yet set as he turned his gaze up, watched out for metal birds that could spot him. Turning his head to survey the streets, the windows of tall buildings for any curious eyes that spotted him.

His window, his opportunity was closing. He needed to go! Too many times his chances slipped through his fingers like water and at long last he captured enough. There was no school trapping him, there were no family functions holding him back.

Calling upon his planets strength he flew across rooftop and in one single leap, too fast for normal eyes to see. His landing was strong and sure. No harm would come to the planets protector, so long as the living threads of this planets weaved and threaded through his being. Wind whipped through his ebony hair freely, through his clothes till he landed gracefully upon the next building. The cold winter wind was warmed by his mother-planet, ensured that her heir was protected from the cold. His face was shielded from the brunt of his haste as he approached destination of Tokyo Airport.

Upon landing he could feel the light air of miasma. Thankfully it was weak, but not for the common folk. He found a prone body of an airport worker and his co-worker sprawled over the wheel of the luggage car. Placing his hand against the man’s mouth he could feel the faintest trace of air beating against his skin. He did not bother to check the other man as he the wind picked him up towards the airport building.

Stopping against the large observatory window pane he forced air into tiny crevices that were hidden between the glue holding the glass. He pulled the moisture out, drying and cracking the glue till the whole pane shifted from its support, and with a heavy heave he wretched the glass behind him. The glass did not shatter but tremored as it landed onto the concrete below.

The miasma was thicker now. It tingled now uncomfortably along his body. He pushed the wind to strike through the offensive anti-matter, but it did nothing. Cursing he walked in. The wind stuck close to his body pushing against the dark energy the best it could.

People were spread out across the terminal gate. Young and old. Across the floor or seated. He breathed a sigh of relief. They were all still alive. Their chest slowly rose up and down, shallow and weak. He snarled, he needed to find the bastard and end his violation on his planet.

He crept about quickly, looking for tell-tale sign of the fiend; the thickening of miasma.

When he found it, drawing closer to the source, the miasma was pushing his power to the limit. Quickly, quickly he jumped over bodies swiftly stopping as he spotted a small infant, its skin was blue, its tiny torso unmoving as its mother’s hand draped limply over the lip of the pram.

He growled, clenched his teeth as he hissed, his fists trembling. Too many deaths over the course of so many centuries, millennia’s! The throne of Terra sat empty for too many ages! The throne of the Cardinal King was lost to time, lost to myth, lost to nothingness, thrusting the planet into darkness, into disarray. The war of many ages ago had all but erased the existence of Terra, all of it including her name, along with everything else! There were no allies he could call upon, the Edict long gone. All there was, all he had were the remnant daughters of once great cardinal rulers of the Solar System.

It was not their duty to protect his planet. It was he who failed. He alone. It was his duty to protect his people.

A sword solidified in his right grasp. He stood in front a heavy wooden door, ‘East Watch Tower’ the panel wrote. The miasma was so thick now, it now just brushed his lips. He could hear the voices just behind the door, the very man he had hunted laughed from within. He joined quietly, him lifting his arm, he carolled the wind in his palm, sorely pleased that the door design. And in one big huff, the door swung inward, tearing it off its hinges off. The miasma was pushed back in a great gush behind him, he could breath freely now. His grin wide as his prey and his minion all but gaped at him.

“Jadeite.” He hissed.

“Who are you?!”

He strode slowly towards the older male and chuckled darkly. “Which would you like? My Commoners name or the King’s?”

Jadeite flung with his telekinesis items from watch tower towards him and ordered his lackey to attack. But his wind was stronger, flicking away Jadeite’s poor onslaught and severing his minion in half in one practiced swing.

“Lord Jadeite of Uranus. You have all but abandoned your oath towards Order and the Edict. You have lead destruction to my Sovereign Planet and by that, have given me the right to lay claim for your life. A traitor’s death.” His body then shimmered as his powers pushed him forward, faster than the eye could see and thrust his sword into Jadeite’s abdomen.

Jadeite grunted, sucking in a shocked breath, Jadeite grasped the blade as he begun to bleed.

“Violet blood?” he announced. “You have indeed abandoned Order, the Light…”

“Damn you!” Jadeite hissed, breathing in wispy breaths and groaned as he twisted and plunged the blade further in. “Who are you!?”

Grinning, he chuckled leaning closer towards Jadeite ear. “Which one, old friend? The Kings name? Or the Commoners?” he snarled, pulling the hilt up, slicing upwards. He grabbed Jadeite’s throat and squeezed, violet blood leaked passed the corners of his lips.

A hissed a laugh, “A kings name you say?” then grunting in pain. “Tell me then your kingly name!?” he chortled.

He took one step back, swiftly removing the blade. He watched as Jadeite fell onto his knees, pressing down against his wound in vain.

He moved to Jadeite’s side, the mans head followed his movements, gazing up at him with malice.

He peered down at the bleeding man before him. Once great company within his court, advisor and friend. Now he felt nothing. The ties that once held them together was all but dissolved by time and treachery, to not only him but even to his own King of Uranus.

“Very well.” He began, lifting his head, pushing back his shoulders and arching his back. He stood before Jadeite as a King and not as a commoner. He would bestow his traitorous friend a king’s execution. He smiled as Jadeite winced and gasped in pain. “My kingly name then...” he grasped his sword in both hands and lifted them above his head. “I am Endymion.”

And then, he swung his sword down.

Off with his head...

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No Beta

Sorry for errors


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

 

The arts club ended with the Outama twins announcing both projects and financial plans for the new year. Suibo-sensei clapped overly with joy, signing off every piece of paper President Seiichi passed her with Hatsumomo diligently standing behind her brother to retrieve the approved papers. Once the prim leaders of the art clubs marched back to stand beside their desks, one by one each member walked in a line, in a very specific order to Suibo-sensei’s request. ‘First the worst, last the best’. Usagi glanced at Kino Makoto’s quirked brow as the class orderly line up, with the twins last -Hatsumomo before her brother. Usagi gently rose from her chair, clutching both her bag and portfolio as she stood at the end of line, and to her surprise Kino Makoto hopped up and followed her. The line treaded down quickly, members placing their complete art portfolio’s for a new books till all there was left was herself, Kino Makoto and Suibo-sensei.

Suibo-sensei took her portfolio personally from her, tut’ting as she opened to four clean pages. “I do believe I requested for ‘everyone’s’ portfolio to completed before the commencement of last semester.”

“I’m sorry.” Usagi bowed.

“I hope so, my rare little-bird. No one has placed so much energy into their work as you have, one would think you would not struggle to fill in four pages before brining them to me.” Suibo placed Usagi’s book beside the large pile, her immaculate red nails gently scrapping the black woven cover.  

“Why should Usagi-san apologise, this is an art club not a class.” Kino Makoto quipped behind her.

Suibo-sensei gave a curt laugh, “Tsukino-san has a history of not completing her work, not that the quality given is poor. Very much the opposite.”

Usagi stuttered an apology again but her teacher only waved it off. “It is lovely that you brought a friend Tsukino-san, to join our merry group. We started out with only four at the start of last year, now we have now eighteen.” Heat rose up Usagi’s neck, looking up at Kino Makoto shyly.

Suibo leaned down beneath her desk pulling out an extra black artbook and passed it to Kino Makoto. “Oh –no I can’t possibly take one! I’m really bad at drawing!”

“Nonsense—” Suibo chuckled thrusting the black hard cover book into Kino Makoto’s hands. “—it is not the content or the quality I’m after, but the energy put into it!”

Kino Makoto laughed, awkwardly, shaking her head as she only gently pushed the book back. “No really, I can’t, I’ll make a myself a fool in this club!”

Suibo brushed off her words, forcing Kino Makoto to take the book by releasing her hold as she fished out an artbook from the bottom of the pile- “As I said Kino Makoto-san, it is not the quality I’m after, but the energy put into it!”  - she split the book open to crude drawings of samurai’s and demons.

Kino Makoto sputtered out a laugh “Alright then... if you’re happy to have me... at least I’ll know someone.” throwing down a wide grin down at Usagi. “Let’s do our best Usagi-san!” fist pumping the air.

“Y-yes!” Usagi stumbled, her voice hitching higher than she intended.

“Wonderful!” Suibo-sensei clapped too cheerfully, her grin plastered wide even as she attempted to slot the book back under instead of on top. “And before I leave for the day, I need to have a chat to Tsukino-san.”

Kino Makoto bowed, “Thank you, Suibo-sensei, for welcoming me and for this book.” She tucked the book beside her hip as she leaned down towards Usagi’s ear “I’ll wait for you outside Usagi-san.”

Usagi only hummed her reply as the heat from her neck spread to her cheeks. She managed, somehow, to smother the heat of her blush by focusing on her teacher who lowered herself back onto her chair, crossing her legs in the process. “I will say, again, that I am very disappointed to find you did not complete your arts portfolio again Tsukino-san. I had had high hopes that you would bring me more after the winter holidays.”

Usagi dropped her gaze to the ground and a few seconds of past as Suibo-sensei gaze travelled up and down her form “Are you eating well? Sleeping at all.”

“Y-yes.”

“Don’t doubt yourself.” Holding out a black book. “You have given so much, so much energy. You are my star, an unending light. You have so much more to give than anyone else I’ve met. Show me how much you can give, my little rare-bird, before I leave for... bigger pastures. Please.”

Usagi gazed down at their hands and found a large polished black stone in the centre of her new portfolio book. “Something to entice you.” Her teacher winked. Usagi’s lip twitched as brushed the oval shaped ornament with her thumb and marvelled as the stone glowed violet before turning dark once more. “Thank you, Sensei.”

Usagi left room afterwards, sliding the door closed she admired the smooth stone once more, brushing her thumb along the surface to watch violet glow. She perched her bag along the windowsill, jiggling the lock then carefully slotted the book inside. The old little lock struggled to clasp close but a firm press of her thumbs the lock latched on.

She turned her gaze left and right looking for the tall silhouette of Kino Makoto, but she found herself alone in the corridor with one of the boys from her club seated on the floor. _‘I’ll wait for you outside._ ’ Maybe she meant outside-outside?

She took the stairs slowly, even skipped on the last step. Her stomach fluttered. She was going to with someone, out of school hours, to do what normal teenagers did. Usagi released a shaky breath as she dusted off her skirt and brushed the loose strands of her hair behind her ears. She threw her braid behind only to fish it back, grasping nervously the silky ends. Should she redo her braid maybe? Her shirt wasn’t too creased was it? Biting back her smile she strode downstairs. She could not decide whether to hold her bag under her arm and in front of her? Did it really matter…?

And there she was, Kino Makoto, with her long wavy ponytail that reached past her shoulders and the wrong uniform amongst the blue. There she stood, waiting by the school shoe lockers.

Usagi smiled despite herself, taking the last step onto the main corridor. She took a left so those warm green eyes could spot her as she went around.

She potted Mizuno Ami standing in front Kino Makoto, her hands clinging to her arms, seeming to try to shake the giant. Mizuno Ami’s voice hissed low as she frowned up at Kino Makoto who mumbled under her breath. Mizuno Ami’s face contorted, confusion wrought her brow as she shook her head till she spotted her. Shocked or surprised her eyes went wide and raised her voice. “Look! Look! It’s Tsukino-san, didn’t you say you wanted to take her to the Crown Arcade today?”

A wave of embarrassment caused Usagi's back to go rigid at the sound of her name. “Ehh... Tsukino-san?” Kino Makoto sneered as her attention turned, shoving Mizuno Ami roughly aside. “Suibo’s pet? Who would want to hang out with her.”

What?

In three large strides Kino Makoto crossed towards her, dull green eyes glared at Usagi as Kino Makoto grabbed her roughly by the shirt till only her toes supported her. “Listen here runt-“ Kino Makoto spat. “-I will be on top of Suibo’s pile and no little throw-away is going to get in my way!” And Kino Makoto threw her back against the cold hard floor.

A crowd lingered around them.  Usagi shook and staggered back against the wall, her heart seizing as the giant took a step forward. “Mako-chan!?!” Mizuno Ami cried out thrusting herself in between them, attempting to push back Kino Makoto’s firm wide shoulders. White wisps rose from the tips of Mizuno Ami’s fingers, shoving hard against the larger girl one more time before raising her hand and slapped her across the face. A black book that Kino Makoto’s clutched tumbled out as the giant fell to her knees.

The crowd bowled over rushing in towards the two. Usagi stood, her feet still unsteady and backside sore from the impact, she quickly limped away and heard Kino Makoto hiss.  “Aami-chan!  Why did you freeze my face?!”.

Usagi wrenched her school slippers off and shoved her boots on. Tears were brimming her eyes, her vision blurry as she threw her scarf around her neck messily and ran out the door of the school without looking back.

_‘-little throw-away-‘_

So, Kino Makoto found out who she was...

What a fool she was. Nothing lasts forever, not even warm smiles. No matter... there was nowhere where she belonged. The kind girl with a gentle smile turned, changed at a moments notice. She should have known better.

Home was where it was real, where she understood how things were, how things are and how things will be. The same routine. Normal. Familiar. Steady.

Usagi avoided the thrum of Saturday crowds. Facing down she stuck to the edge of the curb stepping onto every crack and shadow. Usagi bolted across the quiet road where, only yesterday, she encountered the black car. And that boy with blue eyes. Her heart tugged as she looked back across the road before entering the subway.

The ride home washed the colours off the buildings as train picked up speed. She sat by the window, her head perched against the window.

_‘-little throw-away- ‘_ Kino Makoto’s voice echoed. Swallowing the knot willing her tears away. She was used it, the name calling. It shouldn’t hurt... but it did. Every time.

_‘I’ll wait for you outside.’_ She didn’t know then... did she?

_‘-who would want to hang out her?’_  No one did...

The white noise of the train lulled Usagi’s weary eyes to sleep. And her world became black. The glide of the train was gone, the voices of other passengers silent.

A wisp cried out. “Give it to me.” Echoing softly as the dark swirled and coalesced into a claw, its length growing spindly, bent and warped. It slivered across the black, the fingers tapping the surface like antenna. “Give it to me, give it to me. Your energy!!” it repeated, the appendage sleeking with more feverously.

Usagi looked over her form, she was naked and dully lit. She followed the claw as it drew closer to her body. She held no fear as she played with a golden beaded bracelet on her right wrist. It hung loose around her slim wrist and even with form shake the beads did not slide off. Chains rattled behind her back, the claw stopped -its spindly fingers swaying in her direction now. “Give it to me.” Usagi took a tentative look behind herself, her eyes went wide finding thick golden chains holding down a pair of white feathered wings. She had seen stranger things in dreams but on her person. And her world within the dark became darker – the claw shot out suddenly engulfing her head, and struggle as she might the heavy chains held her in place. Clinking, clinking. The chain held her up and held her down. Usagi could not move either way and for the first time, in a very long time, she began to fear her dream.

The claw demanded and forced itself on her. “Your energy, your energy!! Give it to me!!” She grabbed on the dark claw, it hissed and loosened its grip, and Usagi took in a breath of air before her mouth was clamped over once more. And the more Usagi wrench and struggled against the dark, the more it hissed and wailed. It tore itself off her for a second and no longer looking like a claw as deep rivulets of bright pink light bled down its form -its fingers and palm looking more than burnt. It twitched and backed away. The black filled with emerald at the opposite point of the dark claw and Usagi gaped as green lightening tore through the spasming claw. The black faded away as did the green sparks. Her dream blurred, and she noticed that her naked body shone a little bit brighter.

…-lo... “Hello miss?” Usagi gasped pulling herself to lean against the seat in front of her. “I’m sorry to startle you...” her eyes drifted sideways to a middle-aged man. “...but I’m afraid your briefcase is broken. I think I was able to catch your items before they got too far.” He spoke holding her briefcase with both hands, the flap wide open and the contents nearly spilling. “You’ll need to get a new bag, the lock on this is broken.” He pointed out kindly, passing her items.

“Thank you, sir.” She nodded. He tipped his hat as the train slowed down and he exited the train at Konchu station. Usagi rubbed the sleep from her eyes, she was only at the second stop of her trip.

She thought little of the dream she just had, the train began to move once more and Usagi sifted through her notebooks and papers, separating them neatly. She eyed forgotten tests papers where she scored ‘86’ on her maths, and only ‘28’ on her English. She closely inspected the lock and tsk’ed. She will have to request a new bag from Yamahato. Stacking her items back neatly in her broken bag Usagi felt dismayed to find the polished stone on her artbook was cracked in the centre. Pouting, she glumly touched the surface finding that it no longer glowed violet at her touch but to only crack further into smaller pieces tumbled down onto her lap. Dusting off the flakes she sighed. Everything broke. It was only just a matter of time.

The orphanage welcomed her with its usual creaky door, Usagi hung her coat and scarf in the closet room and stacked her boots next to much smaller ones. Here she was safe. The cheers and cries from the younger children, voices of her caretakers were familiar. The musky smell of every room was intimate and comforting. Here... Usagi was safe.

A recognizable cry wailed from behind Yamahato’s door. Usagi peered from the corner of the stairs, it was unusual for the orphanage manager to be here on a Saturday and she watched as the doors swung open with Yamahato holding the door for elderly couple, with little Matsu clinging tightly to an old woman by her skirts. The adults bowed, the elderly gentleman thanked Yamahato for seeing them before turning his attention to Matsu.

“There, there Ma-chan, just a little longer and you can come home with Grandma and me.” Matsu cried harder, his wail reaching a pitch that even the stoic Yamahato eyes twitched to.

The grandfather patted Matsu as the grandmother wiped his eyes and nose. “We’re not leaving yet, let’s go for a walk. Maybe we can find a hot desert place. Would you like that Ma-chan?”

The small child nodded, already dressed in his best clothes to spend the day with his grandparents.

How lucky of him.

Usagi threw her broken bag onto the bed, the contents fanned out along the mattress and reached down between the mattress and the head of the bed, grunting as she pulled out a simple brown box. Placing the box onto her bedding Usagi carefully lifted the frail carboard lid. Inside laid a droopy eared rabbit with a pink frayed ribbon around its neck and single thick envelope.

Lifting the rabbit out she patted its dapple coat that was no longer soft or white. Usagi brought the small plush to the crook of neck caressing the silky lining of its ear. She clung to the small plush and released a stuttering breath out. Her little toy rabbit was slowly withering away. It no longer smiled, it was missing an eye and some stuffing was lost from the junction of its arms and legs. Nothing lasted forever.

Usagi sneered at the toy, it was the last memory of a time she barely remembered, and she thrusted the rabbit onto the mattress imbedding her thumbs against its neck, the threads holding it neck and body popping one by one.

What a fool. What a fool! A gentle smile made her swoon so easily, kind eyes made her forget, a warm touch made her hope.

“What are you doing?” 

Usagi choked, releasing the toys neck and fumbled for the box. “N-nothing—!” she announced slamming the lid down as she sniffled subtly, and shimmied the box between her knees, covering it from view with school skirt.  

Youko’s soft footsteps approached with the sound of rustling paper bags. Usagi glanced over her shoulder, spying numerous shopping bags in the crook of the girl’s arms.  Youko placed the bags lightly onto her bed by the window, looking through a few before fishing out a soft pink blouse. Usagi deftly glided the box at the head of the bed, slotting it easily then placing her pillow on top.

“I told my Papa about you today.” Youko began casually as she held the garment against herself. “He says girls like you usually end up as prostitutes.”

There was a seconds pause before Usagi stammered “...What?...”

Youko glanced at her, throwing the blouse aside “You know... whores.”

Usagi bolted off the bed, snarling. “What would your Papa know!? He doesn’t know me and neither do you!” she growled, barring her teeth.

Youko chided. “It’s common knowledge. Papa wasn’t the only one who said so.”

Usagi stood flabbergasted, her eyes everywhere but Youko’s. Her anger rose and clenched her hands, refusing to look at the girl across the bed. “Papa says if you don’t have a Koseki there’s little to no hope for you to ever get anywhere in life.”

Cold sweat replaced Usagi’s fuming anger, her posture turning stiff as she gaped at Youko. Her body held fast, as if the gold chains from her dreams reappeared.

Koseki... the Japanese family registry that accounts for everything that happens in your family. The grand family tree of Japan. It records the births and deaths, marriages and divorces, adoptions and disruption of adoption.

For a child to be adopted or even given to foster care, the biological parent must agree to it first. There is great shame to giving away your child. There is great shame as well to take upon another one’s child. Blood ties within families were important, and social stigma stops biological parents from releasing their child in the care of another, whether it be adoption or foster care.  Thus, both are very rare. Japan’s non-adoptive children. And the Koseki is for all to see, for both benefit and discrimination of your future.

And Usagi did not have one. She did not know who she was, no knowledge at all. She did not know the names of her parents.

Usagi rushed down the stairs in a flurry, past the downstairs playroom and into the playground courtyard. The cold air bit her, seeping past her thin uniform.  Usagi dropped on the cold winter-dead ground and shivered from more than just the cold. Tears fell over her cheeks in streams, heaving in breaths as she curled into a ball. She was here the longest, she remembered all the names of her previous caretakers, of when Yamahato took the position as manager. She remembered their backs as they all left for one final time.   

When one child left… another would replace them. It was only a matter of time. So long as you had family –one that you could return to one day, even when you were older or... just were legally waiting to be your official guardians, there was hope for a better life. The Koseki would have been given to you by your family, until you registered your own. The stepping stone to adulthood.

Shou the Neglected still had a mother. Shinozuke the Abused had his father. Hamato the Poor had his parents. Usagi the Abandoned had no one.

By the time Usagi returned to her room Youko was sound asleep. The light sweeping from the curtains was enough to help Usagi manoeuvre around the room. She carefully placed her broken briefcase and notebooks under her bed, checked her brown box under her pillow before wriggling into her pyjama’s that rode past her ankles and sleeves that hung halfway. She should ask for a new pair, but these were comfortable and enough to shake off the cold. She wrapped herself into a cocoon, tucked her feet under the blankets and watched the little shadow demons play in her light of vision till her eyes hung heavy and then black.

A hand tilted her cocooned front in the morning. Moaning Usagi squinted to see the caretaker Nagisa concerned brow and soon left as quietly as she came. The next time Usagi awoke to the sound of children stampeding screams. Still cocooned Usagi sat up noting, with bleary eyes, that Youko was nowhere in sight, her bed was made, and her favoured handbag was gone.  

The cycle begins anew.

A simple breakfast. The younger children taken to the playroom. Usagi returned to her room and settled down at the small desk, placing on top a maths textbook, pencils and her notebook.

She stared blankly at the opened page, her thoughts running through yesterday events. Nothing new was learnt and the implication of her status loomed over her even more. Was there any point in doing her homework? Was there any point in studying? Usagi reasoned that her actions were... unjustified. If the nation viewed her as an alien because of the lack of blood ties, then what was the reason for her to schoolwork. What was the reason to do anything? The point of existing?

The door slid open behind her then closed. Usagi paid no mind to it. She was determined not to face Youko. But instead of two even steps walking in she heard shuffling close the floor. Looking over her shoulder Usagi spotted Shou and Miki crawling towards her. “What are you doing!” Usagi berated turning in her seat.

The two boys stopped on their hind legs in front of her, the breaths laboured as they looked up at her. “There are policemen here.” Shou whispered with Miki nodding.

“So?” Usagi tsk’ed, turning back to her textbook with a scowl.

Shou edged closer, his head almost touching her leg. “We heard them say your name.”

Usagi looked up from her textbook. The police never asked for children, they only brought children. She placed her pen in between the pages of her maths book. “How many are there?”

“Two.”

Usagi stood slowly, tentatively peeked out of her room. She heard Anego’s voice corralling the younger children for a midday nap. It was then she spotted Nagisa form rushing up the stairs, their eyes met when she reached the last few steps. “Usagi come with me now.” Nagisa gestured and turning back down the stairs.

The two boys peered up at from the floor. “Did you do something bad?” asked Miki.

Usagi shook her head slowly. Her heart pounded heavily, twisting and gnawing as she hurried down after Nagisa, and was soon escorted her into Yamahato’s office.

Yamahato stood there with two police officers in long duster coats. One spoke with Yamahato, while the other held a pan and small notepad. For Yamahato to be here on a Sunday... was unheard of... what had she done to warrant the orphanage manager out of her own home?

Yamahato gaze was not what Usagi had expected, not at all stern or angry, instead an unsteady frown marred her face. When she spotted Usagi she gave way to relief, rushing towards to grasp her shoulders.

“Am I in trouble?” Usagi trembled.

“No. No, the officers are here to ask you some questions.” The smile Yamahato attempted to give failed, instead she brushed back Usagi's loose strands behind her. “Come, sit here. Nagisa-san and I will be with you, don’t worry.”

Usagi bowed and introduced herself to the officers, seating herself in front of Yamahato’s desk clutching her hands firmly on her lap.

And the unfortunate events spilled. Students of Juuban Junior High have been found dead under mysterious circumstances with only one thing that linked them all. They were all part of the arts club. Suibo Aiko missing and the prime suspect.

Nagisa growled from the door. “What is going on in Tokyo!? Freak earthquake at Shinzo. People are dropping dead. A terror attack at Tokyo Airport and now this!”

An attack at the airport?

Yamahato exhaled. “Nagi-san...”

Nagisa came to stand behind Usagi, placing her hands onto her shoulders. “Usagi is a good girl! She always comes back home. I hope you aren’t thinking she is a suspect.”

“A number of deaths occurred at home—” Nagisa’s gripped onto her shoulders gently, Usagi thought back to this morning how Nagisa came in, “—two at the school which was the first to alert us. Autopsies are being performed to find the cause of death.” The officer turned his focus to Usagi, brought a chair from against the wall. “Did your art class take anything, Tsukino-san.”

Usagi anxiously looked to Yamahato, who simply nodded to for her to continue. “We...we were given new artbooks?”

“Did you eat anything in class yesterday?”

Usagi shook her head, the officer with the notebook spoke. “Could you show us this new artbook?”

Usagi left with Nagisa following. A trail of children sat along the bottom of the stairs, their whispers silenced by Nagisa’s stern words. Once they reached her room Usagi pulled out the black book tracing the missing stone before heading back to the office.

“Have you opened this book yet?” the officer asked as he carefully handled it. Usagi replied ‘no’ as the second officer fished out a clear plastic bag from a suitcase.

An hour roughly past, they questioned about her teacher, Siubo Aiko and of each club member.

What did she know of her club-members? Nothing. There were the twins... both prude and proud of their hierarchical status within the club. There were the two boys that told amusing stories. The girl that slept more than participated. And the others? What redeeming traits did they have? There were ten –no twelve... or was there eleven of them? No wait... there was more of them than that, wasn’t there?

“What about Kino Makoto?” Her heart skipped a beat. “She was the one to announce the deaths of two of your club members. She only signed up yesterday, is that right? How well do you know her?”

_A soft brush of breath on her ear ‘I’ll wait for you outside.’_

_A sneer from dull green eyes turned to her “Ehh? Tsukino-san? Suibo’s pet? Who would want to hang out with her?”_

_Kino Makoto’s size breathed down her “Listen here runt, I will be on top of Suibo’s pile and no little throw-away is going to get in my way!”_

“I... I don’t know her.” Usagi replied flatly.

The officer released a frustrated grunt, shaking his head towards his partner before rising from the chair.

“Thank you for your time. School is to resume as usual however, the eastern block is closed off for investigations. We may come back for further questions, at a later date.” The officers bid their farewells, bowed and walked out leaving the three alone.

Nagisa accompanied Usagi back to her room. “Are you alright?” she asked, tone both concerned and soft. Usagi nodded. One of Nagisa’s brow rose. It was odd to have caretaker sit next with her on her bed and all Usagi wanted was to be left alone.

Usagi stayed in her room for the remainder of the day, leaving only for dinner. She noticed the caretakers grouped together, their eyes occasionally fixating on her. It was unnerving to be noticed. Should she be sad? Should she cry? Were they waiting for her to do that?

People cried in anime and movies. Was it wrong she felt nothing? She wasn’t sure what to feel. Should she cry for someone she didn’t know?

The insistent questions from Shou and Miki were promptly ignored. The policeman’s visit had roused a buzz among the younger children. Hamato, who sat across from her, threaten them with their dinner. Two failed to take his warning, and they sat with soured looks as Hamato inhaled their dinner quite literally.  

Again, Usagi sat alone in her room by the window when night set, the wanning moon already hung above the buildings. A white car parked outside the orphanage and Youko emerged a few moments later hugging a balding man in a tight embrace. She looked away and slipped into bed.

All she needed now and in the future was somewhere to keep her warm, dry and fed. She was content to strive for that. And so what if someone died, someone else will cry for them and that was enough.

One day she would die, and no one needed to cry for her.

/

/

/

No Beta

Thanks for reading 😊

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I had a thought. Why are orphans in anime so popular. So out of curiosity I began to read about the orphans of Japan, and like everywhere it's depressing. It certainly makes sense why Mamoru is the way he is. There was one quote by an Japanese orphan that really tugged my heart, "I don’t have any dreams [for the future]." 
> 
> Japans throwaway children.
> 
> Not Beta-read. I'm sure you can tell.


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